IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that universities should only accept students with the highest academic results, while others think universities should accept students from a wide range of backgrounds and abilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 an ongoing debate about
universities
Check wording
universities'
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 requirements when accepting
students
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. Some people think that only
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
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 academic
results
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 are required,
while
Linking Words
 others think that universities should accept
students
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 based on their wide range
background
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of backgrounds
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 and abilities. In my opinion, I genuinely believe that academic
results
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 can not be the only requirement for
accept
Wrong verb form
accepting
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students
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. Those who believe only academic
results
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 are key
of
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to
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 university enrollment argue that high academic
result
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results
show examples
 do not
show
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 only their knowledge, but it shows their consistency and hard
working too
Replace the word
work
. Higher academic
results
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 often require hard
working
Replace the word
work
 and time for effort.
For instance
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, during my high school years,
students
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 who
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
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 hard have better academic
results
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 than talented
students
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. That proves that academic
results
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 do not
show
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 only their knowledge, but
their
Correct word choice
also their
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 consistency.
On the other hand
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, everyone’s childhood
do
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does
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 not
last
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same
Correct article usage
the same
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 as others. There are lots of challenges that
students
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 can face during their high school years. Because of that
academic
Punctuation problem
, academic
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results
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 could be lower than others.
For example
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, during my
last
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 years of high school,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 had a lot of health problems
Correct word choice
, and
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then
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 I stayed in
hospital
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the hospital
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 for several months.
Due to
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 that, my academic scores were not good enough. So academic
results
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 can not be the only factor
that
Change preposition
in determining
show examples
students
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’ eligibility for university, a wide range of backgrounds and abilities can. In conclusion, good academic
results
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show
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students
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’ knowledge, consistency and their
hard working
Correct your spelling
hard-working
 skills.
Although
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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due to
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 the different types of
students
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’ lives, universities should
show
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wider
Correct article usage
a wider
show examples
 range of backgrounds and abilities, not just their academic
results
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You did this, but one side is a bit short.
task response
Give your opinion in a more clear way in each body part, not only in the start and end.
task response
Explain your main ideas more. Some points are good, but they need deeper support.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body part.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like 'first', 'also', 'however', and 'as a result'.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. A few lines are hard to follow because the grammar breaks the flow.
task response
You answered both views and gave your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You used real examples from life, and this helps your ideas feel true.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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