IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Demand for food is increasing world wide. What is the causes of this? What measures can the international community take to meet this demand?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
When talking about
food
Use synonyms
,
food
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one of
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 factor animals existence.
However
Linking Words
,
demand
Use synonyms
 for
food
Use synonyms
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 increasing globally. And
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the reasons for high
demanding
Replace the word
demand
 and solutions to
get fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
this
Linking Words
demand
Use synonyms
.
Initially
Linking Words
, there are
number
Correct article usage
a number
show examples
 of reasons to
increase
Use synonyms
 the
food
Use synonyms
demand
Use synonyms
. Mainly,
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
 world population got high number comparing to the
last
Linking Words
dacades
Correct your spelling
decades
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
need
Correct article usage
the need
show examples
of
Change preposition
for food
show examples
foods
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
get high
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
. When the population get
increase
Use synonyms
,
supplying
Replace the word
the supply
 of
foods
Use synonyms
 not
getting high
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
 proportionally. Because, currently we have limited areas to grow
Use synonyms
foods
Check wording
food
show examples
 and
resorces
Correct your spelling
resources
 all around the world.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, with the
technologycal
Correct your spelling
technological
 development, people
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 more connected with social
meadia
Correct your spelling
media
 and
with
Change preposition
the
show examples
 internet. So they can able to see new types of international
food
Use synonyms
,
So
Fix capitalization
so
show examples
 they tend to experience different
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
foods
Check wording
food
show examples
. Considering these factors, no doubt to
increase
Use synonyms
demand
Use synonyms
 of
foods
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, we have to find a solution internationally or
govenment wise
Correct your spelling
government-wise
 to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
this
Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
demand
Use synonyms
. Simply, we should have to get
increase
Use synonyms
 the
food
Use synonyms
 supply as per the
demand
Use synonyms
. So the govenments which capable
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 should encourage their farmers and need to capiatalize the capacity
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 growing.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there
being lots
Wrong verb form
is a lot
show examples
 of
food
Use synonyms
wasting world wide
Replace the word
waste worldwide
, so the related authorities
responsible
Verb problem
are responsible
show examples
to aware the people
Correct word order
for raising awareness among people about the
show examples
 consequences of
food
Use synonyms
wasting
Replace the word
waste
. By doing
this
Linking Words
,
may
Correct pronoun usage
you may
show examples
 have a significant result. In conclusion,
collabarate
Replace the word
collaboration
 of
all
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 international community will have
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 answer for
Use synonyms
increase
Correct article usage
the increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
food
Use synonyms
demand
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
i
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 will no longer
a
Verb problem
be a
show examples
problem at all.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both parts more fully. Write more about why food need is going up, and more about what the world can do.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear main ideas in each body part. One part for causes, one part for ways to solve the problem.
task response
Give one or two simple real examples, such as more people in big cities or food loss in transport.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with easy words like first, also, however, because, so, and in conclusion.
task response
Explain each point a little more. Do not only name the idea; say how and why it causes more food need.
coherence and cohesion
Check word forms and sentence building, because some lines are hard to follow.
task response
You answered both the causes and the measures parts.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The main topic stays the same through the essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: