IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Your friend wants to send her/his children to your house for the weekend. Write a letter to him/her and say *Agree to this arrangement. *Say what time is suitable for you. *Describe what you are planning to do.

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dear james
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Dear James
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,
i'm
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I'm
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 writing to let you know that
its
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it's
 ok to bring your kids to my place for the weekend.
dont to
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Don't
 pack their warm jumpers
coz
Punctuation problem
, coz
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its
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it's
 getting really cold these days .
tell miriam
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Tell Miriam
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 to come with her jumpers ,i dont want her to mess my sleeping clothes like she
the
Verb problem
did the
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last
Linking Words
 time .
i
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I
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 almost forgot
Linking Words
also
Wrong verb form
to
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 pack them the swimming costumes, sunscreen, googles and some towels.
bring
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Bring
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 them on
saturday
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Saturday
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 at 18 hours, as you know in have other plans with my sis in the morning
.
Punctuation problem
. This
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this
Linking Words
 weekend will be
interest
Replace the word
interesting
 because
im
Correct your spelling
I'm
 not going to be all
bymyself
Correct your spelling
by myself
. and make sure to bring some candies,
pop corns
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popcorns
, juice and flour .
i
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I
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 want
make
Verb problem
to make
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 them a carrot cake so that we can celebrate the weekend nicely.
i've
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I've
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 got amazing plans for the 3 of us,
i
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I
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 checked out
this
Linking Words
 new place near my place.
happy land
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Happy Land
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 is enjoyable
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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i
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I
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 know the kids will like it.
i
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I
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 have reserved horse riding, boat
cruzing
Correct your spelling
cruising
, nice foos and
trampoline
Correct article usage
a trampoline
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as well as
Linking Words
jumping
Correct article usage
a jumping
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 castle . if theres anything
theyll would
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they'd
like
Punctuation problem
like,
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 let me know .on sunday im planning to take them kozo national park ,
john
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John
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 loves animals
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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i
Fix capitalization
I
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 want to
suprise
Correct your spelling
surprise
 him. dont say anything about my plans to them.if its ok by you i want to take them to
kariba dam
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Kariba Dam
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,
i
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I
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 really want us to spend the rest of the afternoon at the beach. regards, mary

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task response
Task response: You answer all parts, but some ideas are not clear. Say your plan in a more direct way.
task response
Task response: The tone is a bit too hard in one part about the girl. Use a more kind and friendly tone.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your letter has clear parts, but some sentences are very long. Use more full stops.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some link words are missing. Use words like and, also, then, because.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Keep one main idea in each part. This will make it easier to read.
task response
Task response: You agree clearly and give the time for Saturday.
task response
Task response: You give many fun plans for the children.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear opening, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The ideas are mostly in a good order.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • I am happy to have your children stay with us.
  • This arrangement is fine with me.
  • Saturday morning is the best time for us.
  • Please bring them to our house at around 10 a.m.
  • I am planning to take them to the park.
  • We can play games and watch a film at home.
  • I will make simple food for dinner.
  • They will have a fun and safe weekend.
  • Please send their clothes and any medicine they need.
  • I look forward to seeing them soon.
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