A few people debate that technological inventions like cellphone are making people socially less interactive. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
As with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technological development,
people
Use synonyms
more
Rephrase
apply
show examples
tend to use new technologies like cellphones.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
's opinion, those new inventions and the cellphones make
people
Use synonyms
distance
from the social
Correct word order
themselves from society
show examples
. And
this
Linking Words
essay will
dicuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
why
I'm
Verb problem
I
show examples
agree with
this
Linking Words
statement and what
are the reasons
Correct word order
the reasons are
show examples
for that. There are some effective reasons to think that
people
Use synonyms
less interact
Correct word order
interact less
show examples
with
social
Replace the word
society
due to
Linking Words
cellphones.
Firstly
Linking Words
, if we reversed the time to 20 years back, those smart devices
doesn't
Wrong verb form
didn't
show examples
exist at the time. So
people
Use synonyms
should
have to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
find a way to
wipe
Verb problem
overcome
show examples
their
aloneness
Replace the word
loneliness
by talking to someone else,
then
Linking Words
automatically
people
Use synonyms
getting use
Wrong verb form
get used
show examples
to
interact
Wrong verb form
interacting
show examples
with others. Nowadays,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation find use to smartphone or
some
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
other technological devices to spend their spare time rather
gathering
Correct word choice
than gathering
show examples
with peers.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
becoming
Verb problem
are becoming
show examples
distance with others and they make their own frame
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
themselves.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
situation
makes
Verb problem
creates
show examples
different types of indirect issues in future. Socially
less
Punctuation problem
, less
show examples
interaction makes
people
Use synonyms
less
travel
Correct word choice
likely to travel
show examples
,
consequently
Linking Words
,
probably
Rephrase
apply
show examples
it will make a path to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health issues. Currently, most of
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation
suffering
Verb problem
is suffering
show examples
on
Change preposition
from
show examples
unexpected health issues. As a solution, authorities who resposible for health care
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
should raise
people
Use synonyms
's awareness about
this
Linking Words
tragic
Replace the word
tragedy
. And
this
Linking Words
will
helps to
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
people
Use synonyms
maintain good
bond
Check wording
bonds
show examples
with both socially and
upon
Change preposition
with
show examples
their families. In conclusion,
I'm
Verb problem
I
show examples
strongly agree
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that cell phones and new inventions
make
Correct word order
distract people
show examples
people
Use synonyms
distract socially. And even
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
situation will lead to unexpected
harms
Check wording
harm
show examples
to our future generation as well. So
collabaration
Correct your spelling
collaboration
of
govenment
Correct your spelling
government
and related authorities would be a help to kill barriers among
people
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly why you agree, and keep this clear in all body parts.
task response
Add more clear and real examples. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to trust.
task response
Explain each main idea more. Some points are too short or too general.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each body part. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully, like 'first', 'also', 'for example', and 'as a result'.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar, because some parts are hard to understand.
task response
You gave a clear opinion, and you stayed with it in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You tried to give reasons for your view, such as less face-to-face talk and health problems.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital platforms
  • face-to-face interactions
  • over-reliance
  • communication skills
  • verbal communication
  • superficial relationships
  • virtual social networks
  • texting
  • social media interactions
  • illusion of companionship
  • long distances
  • diverse communication
  • online communities
  • forums
  • meaningful interactions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: