Some people believe that women should be threated as equal to men when applying for a job with police or the military. Others think women are less suitable for this kind of job. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There is no denying that
women
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should be treated equally to
men
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in all aspects of life.
While
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it is often argued that
women
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are less suitable for certain types of work, others believe that both genders are equally capable of performing the same roles. On the one hand,
women
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are fully able to work under the same conditions as
men
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and can contribute effectively in any professional environment. In fact, workplaces that include both
men
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and
women
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tend to benefit from a broader range of perspectives, which can enhance creativity, problem-solving, and
overall
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productivity.
On the other hand
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, some people claim that certain jobs may be more challenging for
women
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due to
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physical or societal factors, and they argue that
men
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may be more suited to these roles.
However
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,
such
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views are increasingly outdated, as many
women
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have demonstrated outstanding performance across a wide range of industries, including those traditionally dominated by
men
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. In my opinion, there is no meaningful difference between
men
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and
women
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in terms of intelligence, abilities, or performance, as each gender brings unique strengths that complement the other.
Therefore
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,
although
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this
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issue involves both advantages and disadvantages, its
overall
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impact largely depends on how it is addressed and the policies implemented to ensure fairness and equal opportunities.

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task response
Write about both sides more clearly. Give one full idea for why women are suitable, and one full idea for why some think they are not.
task response
Give your opinion in a direct way. Say clearly if you agree, disagree, or partly agree.
task response
Use examples. For police or army jobs, add one real or clear example to support each side.
task response
Stay close to the topic. Do not use very general lines like all jobs or all areas of life too much.
coherence cohesion
Make your body paragraphs more balanced. Each paragraph should have a main point and support.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Words like on the one hand and on the other hand are good, but your final paragraph feels too general.
coherence cohesion
Write a clearer ending. Your last sentence should match your opinion and sum up your main points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start and a clear ending.
coherence cohesion
You use basic linking words well, like while, on the one hand, and however.
task response
Your main idea is easy to understand.
task response
You answer the topic and talk about both views.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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