IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think public transport is the best way to travel, while others prefer private cars. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Nowadays, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 different ways of thinking among
the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals
Punctuation problem
individuals,
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 that few of them believed government based transport
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 better
Correct word choice
apply
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whereas
Linking Words
,
others
Correct word choice
whereas others
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 prefer their own cars. In
this
Linking Words
 essay
below
Punctuation problem
,
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 both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views will be discussed
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Linking Words
also my opinion
Correct word order
my opinion will also be presented
show examples
. First and foremost, government currently are improving their facilities
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 till now they
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 developed and
invest
Wrong verb form
invested
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 much better in public facilities
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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also
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 include transportation. There is no doubt that
why
Correct word choice
apply
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people prefer not
public
Verb problem
to use public
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 transport
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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by
Change preposition
apply
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travelling through it can help to reduce
day to day
Correct your spelling
day-to-day
 traffic and
also
Linking Words
will
Wrong verb form
apply
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cause less pollution.
For instance
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, some foreign
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 are way better and have less air pollution because 80% of
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 uses public transportation
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 Japan. So I believed
this
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 could be one of the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals prefer to have their own way of transport
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 buying
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 car
,
Correct word choice
or
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 bike
because
Punctuation problem
, because
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 it gives
comfort
Punctuation problem
comfort,
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Linking Words
as well as
Correct word choice
and
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 we can easily travel anywhere when we want.
For example
Linking Words
, some one want to leave for
Correct article usage
a job
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job
Punctuation problem
job,
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 they don’t have to wait for
bus
Correct article usage
the bus
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it will
time saving
Verb problem
be time-saving
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 and
can
Correct pronoun usage
we can
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 do whatever we want
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 listening
our
Change preposition
to our
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 own choice of music.
For instance
Linking Words
, public buses take 1 hour
for travelling
Wrong verb form
to travel
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 to school
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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own
Correct article usage
an own
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 car takes only 15 min which is more
convienent
Correct your spelling
convenient
 for individuals.
To conclude
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, public
travelling
Replace the word
transportation
 will save our planet from air pollution. But private cars can give comfort
as well as
Linking Words
 is time consuming in my
opinion
Punctuation problem
opinion,
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 private cars are
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 way of commuting.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about public transport and private cars, but some ideas are short.
task response
Make your opinion very clear in the intro and keep it clear in the body.
task response
Use more clear examples. Some examples are good, but they need better detail.
coherence and cohesion
Group ideas in a clearer way. One main idea for each part is better.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple and correct way, such as first, also, however, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. Some sentences are hard to follow because the meaning jumps.
task response
You discuss both views and give your opinion at the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
Some examples help support your ideas, such as Japan and travel time.
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