Some say that music is as important as other subjects in schools, especially at the preschool level. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

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In
this
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day and age, the idea of considering
music
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as an important subject has been widely discussed for an extended period of time.
While
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some people claim that it is more effective at the preschool
level
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;
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,
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others argue that it is not important. My own view on the matter is that listening to
music
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at the preschool
level
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is a great way
to
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for pre-schoolers to
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preescholers
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can achieve their goals. In the following
paragraphs
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paragraphs,
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this
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perspective will be substantiated through careful reasoning and relevant examples, thereby reinforcing its
overall
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soundness. One of the most compelling arguments in favor of allowing listen to
music
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at the preschool
level
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is that
preescholers
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can feel relaxed and motivated because it helps them unwind
while
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studying. As highlighted in a recent article published by David Brooks, listening to
music
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is
a
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the
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best way to achieve our goals and obtain better grades. One example of
this
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is that
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preescholers
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preschoolers
listening to their favorite in their break; they tend to regain energy and feel motivated to complete their daily classroom tasks.
Therefore
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,
this
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evidence clearly suggests that
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this
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apply
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it is important to preescholar's development.
Moreover
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, it should be acknowledged that listening to
music
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at the preschool
level
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plays a significant role in preescholar's performance, citing its positive impacts on feeling happy and being more enthusiastic as its primary justifications.
As a result
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, not only can
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preescholers
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pre-schoolers
reduce stress, but they have the opportunity to strengthen their
emotinal
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emotional
bond with others.
This
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largely stems from the fact that
this
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practice is
essecial
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essential
for
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preescholers
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pre-schoolers
. Taking everything into consideration, it is worthwhile to assert that listening to
music
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at the
preeschool
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preschool
level
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is important for them.
Consequently
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, it is reasonable to
conlude
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conclude
that
this
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practice offers benefits for their development.
Accordingly
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, I'm convinced that listening to
music
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is
the
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a
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better way to educate them correctly.
This
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is a perspective that more people ought to consider. Ultimately,
this
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issue comes down to individual beliefs and all that it entails.

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task response
Answer the main question more directly. Say clearly why music is as important as other school subjects.
task response
Keep your idea the same all through the essay. Sometimes you talk about music in school, but sometimes only about listening to music in breaks.
task response
Give more clear and real examples. Your example is a bit general and does not fully show why music is important as a subject.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph have one main idea. Then explain it and add one example.
coherence and cohesion
Use link words in a natural way. Some lines sound learned and not fully needed.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects well to the next one. A few parts repeat the same point with different words.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction and keep a generally clear position.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow in most parts because of clear paragraphing.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • preschool level
  • early childhood
  • as important as
  • basic skills
  • learning through play
  • memory
  • listening skills
  • language development
  • social skills
  • work with others
  • take turns
  • self-expression
  • feelings
  • confidence
  • balanced education
  • support learning
  • body control
  • group activities
  • creative development
  • well-rounded growth
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