IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the change in number of people engaged in various physical activities between the years 2001-2009 in Australia (in million people). Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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The table illustrates the number of people engaged in physical
activities
Use synonyms
 in Australia, expressed in millions, in the years 2001, 2005, and 2009. It included the percentage change.
Overall
Linking Words
, these three
activities
Use synonyms
 - running, aerobics and tennies indicate that the trend has increased significantly during
this
Linking Words
 period.
While
Linking Words
 cycling and swimming, both are showing a reduction. Notably, cycling always attracts the biggest number of people who take part during the period of 8 years.
Although
Linking Words
 it has slightly decreased
overall
Linking Words
. Considering the
activities
Use synonyms
 that have experienced growth, aerobics attracted the highest number of people participating in physical
activities
Use synonyms
 in 2001, with 1.5
million
Use synonyms
, slightly more than running
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 1.4
million
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 tennis is the least popular , with 1
million
Use synonyms
. By 2009, running had undergone the strongest expansion of all
activities
Use synonyms
, rising steadily by 50 per cent to reach 2.2
million
Use synonyms
 participants. Shifting to
activities
Use synonyms
 that are showing a decline, cycling and swimming are the most popular at
first,
Linking Words
with 4.5
million
Use synonyms
 and 3.7
million
Use synonyms
 of particpants in 2001.
However
Linking Words
, cycling fell significantly to 3.1
million
Use synonyms
 in 2005 and just recovered to some extent up to 3.6
million
Use synonyms
 in 2009, highlighting that the
overall
Linking Words
 decrease was 20 per cent. Meanwhile, swimming reached a short time on peak at 3.8
million
Use synonyms
 in 2005 and dropped significantly to 3.3
million
Use synonyms
 in the latest period,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 reduction
is
Change preposition
of
show examples
 about 10 per cent.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words activities, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduction" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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