IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Children's education is expensive. In many countries, governments pay education fees for children. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
In
this
Linking Words
 modern world. In many nations ,the states offer free school lessons to young
ones
Check wording
people
show examples
.In my opinion
i think,
Correct word order
, I think
show examples
 the upsides outweigh the downsides, because of equal opportunities.
This
Linking Words
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
 will discuss both the positives and the negatives. First and foremost, free learning is advantageous
due to
Linking Words
 equal opportunities. Reduces
on a number of streets kids
Correct word order
the number of kids on a number of streets
show examples
, because of
Use synonyms
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of funds ,to get an education.Aditionally it
also
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
lessens the burdens on parents.To illustrate, having the authorities
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 care of
students schools
Check wording
students' school
show examples
 fees, it promotes peace of mind, mitigates poverty ,
bad
Correct word choice
and bad
show examples
 habits
such
Linking Words
 as drinking,smoking and stealing.
Lastily
Correct your spelling
Lastly
, free schooling enables the
youngs
Replace the word
young
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 to achieve their dreams and to become
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 responsible human
-
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
beings in society.
In as much
Correct your spelling
Inasmuch
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 as it sounds good, we can not avoid the negatives that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 free education comes with.
Secondly
Linking Words
, having the policy makers.To support pupils with the funds to get an education
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 comes with it's on dismerits.
Such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
overcrowded classrooms,
lack
Use synonyms
 of resources, no motivation and no freedom of expression.
For example
Linking Words
, if there are 50 learners in a
class room
Correct your spelling
classroom
, it will be hard for students to understand topics.
Recieving
Correct your spelling
Receiving
 free lessons
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 will lead to
Use synonyms
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of motivation, because they are not the ones paying.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the merits outweigh the negatives because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it provides equal opportunities,
lessen
Correct subject-verb agreement
lessens
show examples
 burdens, and promotes
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
peace of mind.Even though
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 free schooling causes
Use synonyms
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of attention
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and resources.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly why the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
Add one more clear bad point and explain it well. Now the bad side is short.
task response
Use simple examples that match each main point. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Put your ideas in clear groups: intro, good points, bad points, end. Do not break sentences with full stops in the wrong place.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple way, like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph stay on one main idea. Some sentences now are hard to follow.
task response
You gave a clear opinion that the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
You included both sides of the topic, so the reader can see your full answer.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used some linking words like first, secondly, for example, and to sum up.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: