IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that people should be given the right to use fresh water as they like. Others believe governments should strictly control the use of fresh water. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Some believe that
people
Use synonyms
 should get clean
water
Use synonyms
 as it's
human
Correct article usage
a human
show examples
right
Punctuation problem
right,
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while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 argue that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should restrict
to
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
use
Use synonyms
fresh
Change preposition
of fresh
show examples
water
Use synonyms
, i
Punctuation problem
. I
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totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 point
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 it is necessary for future generation and it makes
people
Use synonyms
to
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
think about using
water
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, most
people
Use synonyms
 think that everyone should have access to fresh
water
Use synonyms
 because without clean
Use synonyms
water
Punctuation problem
water,
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 humans may get serious health problems
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 kidney infection and heart disease.
Moreover
Linking Words
, not everyone can
not
Rephrase
apply
show examples
afford to
fresh
Verb problem
have access to fresh
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 always
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 makes life difficult to survive.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 allow to
use
Use synonyms
water
Use synonyms
 as much as
citizens
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 want.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some argue that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should control
using
Replace the word
the use of
 fresh
water
Use synonyms
 as it is useful and necessary for future generations, because
earth
Correct article usage
the Earth
show examples
 does not have
much
Rephrase
as much
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 as it did.
In addition
Linking Words
, if
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 restricts
using
Replace the word
the use of
water
Use synonyms
citizens
Punctuation problem
, citizens
show examples
 will think about using it
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they
Use synonyms
use
Verb problem
will use
show examples
 it only for useful things. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
people
Use synonyms
 should
use
Use synonyms
 fresh
water
Use synonyms
 as much as they want
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
however
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should limit
using it
Replace the word
its use
 for the reasons I mentioned above.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You show both views, but the first side is very short and not well explained.
task response
Give one clear opinion from the start. Your opinion is there, but the first sentence is hard to follow.
task response
Use one or two simple real examples to support your ideas.
task response
Make each main idea clearer. Add one more sentence to explain why it is true.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, body, and end. This is good.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly. Some sentences do not connect well, for example in the first body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well: on the one hand, on the other hand, for example, because, so, in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar, because some parts are hard to understand and this hurts flow.
task response
You discuss both views and give your opinion.
task response
You stay on the topic all the way.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear paragraphing with introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking phrases like On the one hand, On the other hand, and In conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Human right
  • Resource scarcity
  • Economic productivity
  • Ecosystem
  • Biodiversity
  • Equitable distribution
  • Monopolization
  • Public health
  • Sustainability
  • Government regulation
  • Hygiene
  • Water quality
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