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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the bar chart shows the scores of teams A,B AND C over four different seasons . summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The given bar chart illustrates
about
Change preposition
apply
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which teams have the number of
scores
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different
Change preposition
in different
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 seasons in 2002, 2003,2004 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
Team
Use synonyms
 B experienced the largest amount of
scores
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 throughout the time given
;
Punctuation problem
,
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while
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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Team
Use synonyms
 C recorded the lowest
figure
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. As a general trend,
Team
Use synonyms
 A and
Team
Use synonyms
 C fluctuated between 2002 and 2005. It is
conpicuous
Correct your spelling
conspicuous
 that in 2002,
Team
Use synonyms
 B accounted
to
Change preposition
for
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 about
82pt
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82 per cent
 of
scores
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
Linking Words
figure
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 was the fighest
scores
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 over the period. That number steadily rose to below 68pt in 2003 before dropping dramatically
around
Change preposition
to around
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 43pt in 2004
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 by
end
Correct article usage
the end
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 of the year, it increased to over 55pt.
Team
Use synonyms
 C
scores
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 began to
10pt
Correct your spelling
10 points
 in 2002;
however
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
figure
Use synonyms
 soared slightly to
15pt
Correct your spelling
15 points
 in 2003 but fell to
12pt
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12 points
 in 2004,
Linking Words
finally
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and finally
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year
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apply
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, it went down to
5pt
Correct your spelling
5 points
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 2002
Team
Use synonyms
 A had the lowest
scores
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nearly
Punctuation problem
, nearly
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5pt
Correct your spelling
5 points
, and
this
Linking Words
figure
Use synonyms
 for
Team
Use synonyms
 A
growth
Wrong verb form
grew
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 slightly to
11pt
Correct your spelling
11 points
 in 2003. It reached a peak of just over 34pt in 2004
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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last
Linking Words
 year, it
dropping
Wrong verb form
dropped
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 significantly to approximately 8pt

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words scores, team, figure, pt with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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