IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Sometimes, companies choose people based on their personality rather than skill set. Why do you think that is the case? What do you think is more important – personality or skills?

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In today's world, companies would rather employ
staff
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 depending on their
personality
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 than choose
skilful
Correct your spelling
skilled
 assets. I strongly believe that choosing
people
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 because of their
skills
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 is a key to the
company
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's success. One key reason for
this
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 view is that a worker with lots of
skills
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 knows how to move a
company
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 forward. The type of
skill
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skills
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 a
staff
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 has can determine how a
company
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 will grow or move forward. The hospital ,
for example
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, is a place where workers with different
skills
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 are employed. A Nurse can care for a patient and still know how to braid a patient's hair or make fancy toys for pediatric patients. Her
skills
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 are what draw more
people
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 to be admitted to that certain hospital.
Moreover
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, a Nurse should have lots of
skills
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 in hand before being employed. Another important benefit is that the organisation saves costs when its
staff
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 are equipped with lots of
skills
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. Worrying about not having enough hands to work can be draining , but if
people
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 are being employed based on their
skills
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, they reduce the workload and erase the thought of employing more hands.
For instance
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, a janitor can be skilled in fixing pipes
,
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apply
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and sometimes skilled in wire repairs. With these, the
company
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 is able to save on employing an electrician or a plumber.
However
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, some
people
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 emphasise the importance of employing
people
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 based on
personality
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 because
people
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 are born with different types of
personality
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which
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, which
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 need to be addressed when
recruiting
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recruiting,
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 because companies are being portrayed by their
staff
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 to the outside world.
In other words
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, both
personality
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 and
skills
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 should go hand in hand when checking off checklists of a job description , but having more
skills
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 saves the companies from overspending.

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly. You explain why some firms may choose personality, but your main view about skills needs a more direct compare with personality.
task response
Add one clear idea about why personality matters, such as teamwork, trust, or speaking well with clients.
task response
Use examples that fit the main point more closely. Some examples feel unusual, so they do not fully support your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph start with one clear main idea, then explain it, then give one strong example.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Some sentences jump from one point to another.
coherence and cohesion
Write a stronger ending. Your last paragraph should clearly restate your answer to both questions.
task response
You have a clear opinion that skills are more important for company success.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You use examples to support your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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