IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some feel that individuals today spend too much time following political news while others feel politics deserves greater attention. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
some
Fix capitalization
Some
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 think that they spend too much time following political
news
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, others feel politics costs
beteer
Correct your spelling
better
 attention. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both views and give my own opinion.
first
Fix capitalization
First
show examples
 of all, spending too much time on political
news
Use synonyms
 brings some disadvantages,
such
Linking Words
 as it can make
people
Use synonyms
 stressed, divided, and overly focused on conflicts between governments.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 some cases, constant
atterntion
Correct your spelling
attention
 to political disagreements may even increase tension in society.
Linking Words
for
Fix capitalization
For
show examples
 instance, in india political
nrws
Correct your spelling
news
 spreads rapidly, society sometimes becomes divided
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 arguments between
people
Use synonyms
 increase.
Linking Words
on
Fix capitalization
On
show examples
 the other hand,
pay ing
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
 attention to
policial
Correct your spelling
political
news
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 has some
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 sides.
Use synonyms
people
Fix capitalization
People
show examples
 who are aware of government issues can better understand important problems in society and make wiser
decision
Check wording
decisions
show examples
, especially during
election
Check wording
elections
show examples
. for axample, it south korea many citizens closely follow political
news
Use synonyms
 and government
desicion
Correct your spelling
decisions
.
Linking Words
as
Fix capitalization
As
show examples
 a result, they become more aware of social problems and participate actively in public discussions.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 my opinion, staying informed about the
news
Use synonyms
 is beneficial
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, spending
exessive
Correct your spelling
excessive
 time on it can
nagatuvely
Correct your spelling
negatively
 affect
people
Use synonyms
's
mantal
Correct your spelling
mental
 health and daily lives

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both sides more fully. Write a bit more about why some people follow too much news and why others think politics needs more care.
task response
Add clearer support for each main idea. Explain how too much political news can hurt daily life, not only that it causes stress.
task response
Use examples with more detail. Your India and South Korea ideas are good, but they need one more clear line to show the point.
coherence and cohesion
Make links between ideas smoother. Use simple words like first, also, on the other hand, and in conclusion in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph flow. Some sentences are hard to follow because of word form and spelling mistakes.
coherence and cohesion
Write a short final ending that clearly repeats your view in a full sentence.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic and give your own view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and ending.
task response
You use real country examples, which helps your ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • informed decisions
  • democratic participation
  • mental health
  • stress and anxiety
  • accountability
  • misinformation
  • balanced approach
  • accessibility
  • engagement
  • political awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: