IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Sometimes, companies choose people based on their personality rather than skill set. Why do you think that is the case? What do you think is more important – personality or skills?

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Some companies focus on hiring
people
Use synonyms
 for their
personality
Use synonyms
than
Correct word choice
rather than
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their
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
skills
Use synonyms
 they have
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 they think it can
helps
Wrong verb form
help
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 them more and grow their business and make it better. I agree with the sentiment that
skills
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 are more important than
characters
Check wording
character
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss why companies always reach for
this
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 feature and what's important for them.
Overall
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,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 some companies often choose their employees based on their curriculum vitae achievements and their ability in the workplace, but most of them may choose
personality
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 over skill.
Moreover
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, workers need to
work
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 in a team every day. A
quit
Use the right word
quiet
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 place to
work
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,
calm
Correct article usage
a calm
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 person to talk with and make the office a comfortable place to
work
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.
Also
Linking Words
, many problems can be solved with the professionalism of dealing
and
Change preposition
with and
show examples
 understanding each
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
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 at
work
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.
For example
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, a guy who feels stressed and anxious every day needs a teammate who is calm and confident to help him with his task
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 balance should be applied between each emotion.
Personality
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 is often linked to trust and long-term growth.Firms want
people
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 who are honest , sincere and ready to face any challenges in
work
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.
Moreover
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,
personality
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 is needed in many areas
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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 jobs
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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work
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 with many
people
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 , service, sales , teaching and management.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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 workers who has good reputation and
good
Verb problem
are good
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with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 communication
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 often wanted to be a part
in
Change preposition
of
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 the company.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 a person who accepts failures and takes
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job
Correct article usage
the job
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 seriously will be able to achieve
his
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 dream
job
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. In conclusion, both are important
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
skills
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 are needed to enter the
job
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 you want ,
but
Correct word choice
and
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personality
Use synonyms
 is the main factor to continue your
job
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 . The idea is strong because it shows that
people
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 can
work
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 on their
skills
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 and improve
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
show examples
, but forgetting that
personality
Use synonyms
 is the biggest
case
Check wording
factor
show examples
 in the future.

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly. Say why firms pick personality, and then say more clearly why skills are more important.
task response
Give one or two clear examples. Your example about a calm workmate is helpful, but it needs more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each body part. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple way, like First, Also, For example, and In conclusion.
task response
Make your opinion stay the same from start to end. In the end, your view becomes less clear.
task response
You answer the topic and give your opinion in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to explain ideas about team work, trust, and growth in a company.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • work in a team
  • good attitude
  • learn new skills
  • long-term growth
  • solve problems
  • talk well with others
  • be ready to learn
  • strong skills
  • technical job
  • customer service
  • office culture
  • train staff
  • bad attitude
  • hard-working
  • honest and responsible
  • grow with the company
  • do the work
  • people skills
  • team spirit
  • right person for the job
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