IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should be required to follow strict rules set by their parents. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Do not use memorized examples.

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childrens
Correct your spelling
Children
 always follow
strict
Correct article usage
the strict
show examples
rules
Use synonyms
 of their
parents
Use synonyms
. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. because
childrens
Replace the word
children
 should
knows
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
 the
somehow
Correct word choice
social
show examples
 norms of their family. They must know about their family culture.
but i
Fix capitalization
But I
show examples
also
Linking Words
 disagree with these strict
rules
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
 there will be no strictness
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their child because they have
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
 mindset. They
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
 free will to live. On the
first
Correct determiner usage
one
show examples
 hand, kids in our society are very blunt nowadays. They do not know how to behave
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
 of guests
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
. So, at that
time
Punctuation problem
time,
show examples
Use synonyms
parents
Check wording
parents'
show examples
rules
Use synonyms
 should be allowed to follow.
Childrens
Replace the word
Children
 should know about their relatives, cultures and norms.
For instance
Linking Words
, some people
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 their family events and
celeberations
Correct your spelling
celebrations
according to
Linking Words
 their culture. and kidsdo not
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
 to participate in it.
so
Fix capitalization
So
show examples
, it will be
embarrasing
Correct your spelling
embarrassing
 for their
parents
Use synonyms
 in front of their relatives sometimes. because their kids behaved
inappropriate
Replace the word
inappropriately,
 which is unacceptable.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 modern era
Add a comma
,
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 should know that
your
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 child is 30 to 40 years younger and why he is going back into that era where he was
borned
Wrong verb form
born
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, it will always be difficult to follow older strict
rules
Use synonyms
which has
Correct subject-verb agreement
that have
show examples
 no
concerned
Replace the word
concern
 with your life.
just
Fix capitalization
Just
show examples
 because these
rules
Use synonyms
 are meaningless
just
Punctuation problem
, just
show examples
 because your elders
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
 to teach you. let suppose
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 there is
kid
Correct article usage
a kid
show examples
, he is 15years old.
he
Fix capitalization
He
show examples
 has
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
 point of view.
but
Fix capitalization
But
show examples
 your
parents
Use synonyms
 always
lecturing
Wrong verb form
lectured
show examples
 him
that
Change preposition
about that
show examples
, in ninetees we used to walk when we
go
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 to school. Why
you are
Correct word order
are you
show examples
 not walking? They has car now.
walking
Fix capitalization
Walking
show examples
is a good habit.
but
Fix capitalization
But
show examples
 the kid has facilities now
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 he should avail that. To
conculde
Correct your spelling
conclude
, there are some positive
rules
Use synonyms
 by
Use synonyms
parents
Check wording
parents'
show examples
 side which are mandatory to follow. Some
rules
Use synonyms
 are from
generational
Correct article usage
the generational
show examples
 gap. There is no sense
to follow
Change preposition
in following
show examples
 that.

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task response
Make your main view more clear from the start. Say why you partly agree in one simple sentence.
task response
Add more clear support for each main idea. One reason and one example in each body part is good.
task response
Use examples that are more direct and easy to understand. Keep each example short and linked to your point.
coherence and cohesion
Put your ideas in a more clear order. Start each body part with one main point, then explain it.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like first, also, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph stay on one idea only. Do not mix good rules and old rules in the same part.
task response
You answered the question and gave your own view.
task response
You included both sides of the topic, which fits a partial agree answer.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used some linking words like for instance and however.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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