IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that in a city, the best way to travel is by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of traveling in a city. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Opinion regarding transportation in a
city
Use synonyms
vary
Correct subject-verb agreement
varies
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 some prioritize
car
Use synonyms
 rather than
Use synonyms
bicycle
Correct article usage
the bicycle
show examples
, others argue that
Use synonyms
bicycle
Correct article usage
the bicycle
show examples
 is more convenient.As for my i believe that
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
way
Use synonyms
 for transportation is walking or subway
To begin
Linking Words
 with opinion of the former group
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
they believe
Verb problem
is
show examples
 that it is
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
that is
Linking Words
 the most preferable vehicle
due to
Linking Words
 two reasons. First of all,
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 is a vehicle that can give a lot of
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 for transportation
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as speed,convenience and
also
Linking Words
 safety and
also
Linking Words
 a
give
Verb problem
apply
show examples
sense of adrenaline. Despite
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 if a person
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a keen interest in speed, it can lead to accidents on
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 road or something more harmful.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it gives
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 opportunity for long journeys like moving from one
city
Use synonyms
 to another and with a
car
Use synonyms
 it can
me
Verb problem
be
show examples
 more economical. Because
whine
Use the right word
when
show examples
you
Verb problem
you're
show examples
 going from one place to
another
Punctuation problem
another,
show examples
 you may face
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some troubles in train and
also
Linking Words
 in plane in can be expensive, but by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car
Use synonyms
, it can be useful in
side
Check wording
terms
show examples
 of finance and in convenience. Turn to
latter
Correct article usage
the latter
show examples
 group which
argue
Correct subject-verb agreement
argues
show examples
 that
Use synonyms
bicycle
Correct article usage
the bicycle
show examples
 is much more useful than
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they believe that with
Use synonyms
bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
 they will never have health issues like
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
obesity or heat problems. Because, with cycling they will always be in
fit
Check wording
shape
show examples
 and they will always be on the move
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
also
Linking Words
 it
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a lot of benefits for cyclists
keens
Check wording
keen
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is more common for people
for
Change preposition
from the
show examples
 lower class. Since people from other groups have cars
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 cars are pretty expensive.
it
Fix capitalization
It
show examples
 will be hard for them to afford a
car
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
it
Correct word choice
, as it
show examples
the
Verb problem
is the
show examples
 best vehicle based on health and
finance
Replace the word
financial
 side.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my perspective,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 think that for short
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
 walking is
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
way
Use synonyms
 and for long distances in
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
it
Punctuation problem
, it
show examples
 subway because
due to
Linking Words
 traffic in
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
city
Add a comma
city,
show examples
it is
Verb problem
it's
show examples
 much faster to travel underground. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some believe that
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
way
Use synonyms
for traveling
Wrong verb form
to travel
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
a city
show examples
 is
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 other argue that it is
Use synonyms
bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
. I on my side think that
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
way
Use synonyms
 is walking or
subway
Correct article usage
the subway
show examples

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer all parts of the task more clearly. You discuss cars and bikes, but your own view changes to walking and subway, so the main focus is not fully clear.
task response
Make your opinion clear from the start and keep it the same through the essay.
task response
Use simple, clear examples to support each main idea. For example, say why a car is better for a family, or why a bike is good for short trips.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph and explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully, such as 'first', 'second', 'however', and 'therefore'. Do not repeat the same link too much.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. Some ideas stop suddenly or move away from the main point, so the essay is hard to follow in places.
task response
You discuss both sides of the topic, which is important for this task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to give reasons for each view, such as cost, health, speed, and comfort.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • congestion
  • pollution
  • maintenance
  • eco-friendly
  • infrastructure
  • physical health
  • suitable
  • weather conditions
  • traffic
  • repair costs
  • cycling infrastructure
  • fuel costs
  • carrying heavy loads
  • physical limitations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: