Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones.Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Nowadays, technology has been growing rapidly;

as a result

Linking Words

, the

smartphone

Use synonyms

is an essential device for people.

Therefore

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, some young people use smartphones

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show examples

their daily routines.

Although

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using a

smartphone

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has enormous benefits, I believe that it can reduce people’s mental health, which is an important part of educational performance.

In addition

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, overuse of smartphones negatively affects

children’s

Use synonyms

physical abilities. Nowadays, when children want to play a game, they can play with their mobile phones, so youngsters do not play sports

than

Rephrase

as much as

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in the past.

Consequently

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, the

children’s

Use synonyms

physical strength gradually decreased;

thus

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, they face many dangerous diseases.

For instance

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, Japanese scientists, who focus on the

childeren’s

Correct your spelling

children’s

smartphone

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usage, have identified a special thing that overuse of smartphones can increase people’s heart problem rate.

Moreover

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, the social media usage has been increasing rapidly, so young people use many social media platforms

such

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as YouTube, Facebook and Instagram, which can increase

children’s

Use synonyms

stress level because those platforms have a variety of content. If children have stress, it will completely affect their academic performance.

For example

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, I met a university student who

significantly

Verb problem

was significantly

show examples

addicted

Facebook

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to Facebook

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While

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he was studying, he never focused on his studies;

as a result

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, many cources are repeated by him, so he suffered from mental illness. In conclusion, nowadays, even though the smarphone can help

our

Change preposition

with our

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daily work, children spend a lot of time without doing their essential work;

hence

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, it can reduce their physical and mental health, which can decrease

children’s

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brain performance.

Therefore

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, we should manage

children’s

Use synonyms

smartphone

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usage because it will help their

improvement

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development

show examples

tharinduaushanemail

May 8, 2026

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task response

Answer both questions more directly. You say why children use phones, but this part is short. Add more clear reasons in the first body part.

task response

Make your main view very clear from start to end. You say phones have benefits, but your essay mostly explains bad sides. Keep one clear line.

task response

Use examples that are more clear and general. One personal story is okay, but a stronger example would help more.

coherence and cohesion

Put one main idea in each body paragraph. This will make your essay easier to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas in a smoother way. Some words like 'therefore' and 'consequently' are used well, but sometimes the jump between ideas is too fast.

coherence and cohesion

Support each main point with a short explanation before the example. This will make the paragraph stronger.

coherence and cohesion

You have a clear introduction and a clear ending.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a simple overall structure: intro, two body parts, and conclusion.

task response

You give a clear opinion that this is a negative development.

task response

You include examples to support your ideas.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones.Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many small businesses are being forced to close because they cannot compete with multinational corporations. What problems does this cause, and how can those problems be solved?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both view and give your opinon

You are moving out of your rental apartment. Write a letter to your neighbour to say goodbye. In your letter say 1. when and where do you move? 2. why do you move out? 3. how do you feel about it?

Some countries invest a significant amount of money in promoting the use of bicycles. why do you think this is the case? Does it have a positive or negative impact on individuals and the society?