Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

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There is no denying the fact that
people
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think that it is
crucial
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a crucial
show examples
thing about being
wealth
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wealthy
is
it
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that it
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gives a person
opportunity
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the opportunity
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to help others.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that the rich
it is
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are
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a good thing specialy when
help
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they help
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others. There is
also
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an
argumnt
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argument
that
opposis
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opposes
it. In my opinion, I agree that rich
people
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can help others. 
To begin
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with, the
riches they
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rich
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give money to poor
people
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.
In other words
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, they
bulid a
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built
good hospitals and schools for all
eople
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people
.
In addition
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, they can give money in occasions and donate to charities.
For example
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, set a day of the month to go to poor places and buy gifts for them
Punctuation problem
. This helps
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this
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help you to save money and
donot
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not
spend
in
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on
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unnecessary
thing
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things
show examples
. Another point to consider, they can improve and
develope
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develop
society. It is
also
Linking Words
possible to say that rich
people
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can visit government places and donate to education.
Moreover
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, they can bulid free area for poor
people
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to
learning
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learn
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and
take
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receive
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treatment. For
instanse
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instance
, when you help
someone
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someone,
show examples
you feel happy and
comfort
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comforted
. In conclusion, despite
people
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having
defferent veiws
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different views
. I believe that being rich is important because it
alows
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allows
people
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to help
other
Replace the word
others
.

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task response
Answer the question more fully. Say why you agree, not only that you agree.
coherence and cohesion
Add clearer main ideas in each body part. One main idea for one part is best.
task response
Use examples that fit the main idea more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, for example, and in conclusion.
task response
Explain each point more. Tell how rich people help and why this is important.
task response
You gave a clear opinion: you agree.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used some simple link words like in addition and moreover.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealthy
  • financial resources
  • philanthropy
  • charitable organizations
  • donations
  • fundraising
  • support
  • initiatives
  • contribute
  • fulfillment
  • purpose
  • selfless
  • altruistic
  • prioritize
  • personal gain
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