Despite better access to education, many adults today still cannot read or write. In what ways are they disadvantaged? What can governments do to help them?

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In recent years, it has been argued that
although
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opportunities have been created to educate effectively, more students do not have literacy in reading and writing yet at present. There are some reasons for
this
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issue
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such
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, such
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as financial
bounders
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boundaries
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in the family.
However
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, implementing measures
as well as
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providing free online
course
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courses
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to
extra learn
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further learning
,
governments
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can encourage them.     One significant negative side is having financial boundaries in some families. Some families have a single mother who supplies their children. In that situation, more
adults
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try to get a job in order to help their mother provide basic necessities
instead
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of going to school, and they tend to drop out of school.  
Therefore
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, they need to miss some lessons, which is why they can not learn reading and writing. To illustrate, one of my relatives can not read or write, as his father died during his childhood, he has to work to help his mother in order to provide a supplement for his family, going to an education
center
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instead
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.
This
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suggests that financial boundaries prevent
adults
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from educating at schooling.   Despite these challenges, there are measures to encourage in order to support
adults
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to learn literacy knowledge by governing bodies. Authorities can help
adults
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by giving online lessons to learn. If
governments
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provide
this
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kind of course, they could learn even at home.
For example
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, in countries like Japan,
governments
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tend to give lessons and invest in low-income students. By doing so, students can read and write.   In conclusion,
while
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adults
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do not have literacy in writing and reading through financial boundaries,
governments
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can solve
this
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issue by offering online
course
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courses
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and invest their lifestyle

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You talk about one main problem and one main help, but the question asks for ways adults are disadvantaged and what governments can do.
task response
Give more clear ideas about how adults suffer in daily life, such as work, health, travel, and using services.
task response
Use examples that clearly fit the main idea. Your family example helps, but it is long and not fully clear.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph focus on one clear main point. Some sentences now are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simple and correct way. Words like however, therefore, and despite these challenges should match the meaning of the sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and meaning. Some parts are not easy to understand, so the reader may lose the main point.
task response
You answer both parts of the question, so the essay is on topic.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You use an example to support your point, which is good for IELTS writing.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Illiteracy
  • Underemployment
  • Social isolation
  • Healthcare decisions
  • Autonomy
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Marginalized areas
  • Economic instability
  • Employment opportunities
  • Governmental plans
  • Dependency
  • Community involvement
  • Financial incentives
  • Flexible schedules
  • Mobile applications
  • Workplace literacy programs
  • Literacy education
  • Access to information
  • Social interactions
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