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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart shows the average number of hours each day that Chinese, American, Turkish and Brazilian tourists spent doing leisure activities while on holiday in Greece in August 2019.

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The bar chart provides key information about the average number of
hours
Use synonyms
tourists
Use synonyms
 from China, America, Turkey, and Brazil spent on leisure activities
while
Linking Words
 on holiday in Greece in August 2019. The units are measured in
hours
Use synonyms
 per day.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that Chinese
tourists
Use synonyms
 spent the most
time
Use synonyms
 reading books.
In addition
Linking Words
, visiting
places
Use synonyms
 accounted for the lowest proportion in most nations,
whereas
Linking Words
 reading books recorded a significantly higher amount of leisure
time
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, Chinese
tourists
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 spent the most
time
Use synonyms
 reading books at eight
hours
Use synonyms
 per day. They
also
Linking Words
 spent the least amount of
time
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 visiting
places
Use synonyms
 compared to all other groups. American
tourists
Use synonyms
 spent five
hours
Use synonyms
 reading, which was nearly the same as the four
hours
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 they spent at the beach. In terms of Turkish
tourists
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, the category of visiting
places
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 was the same as
American
Correct pronoun usage
that of American
show examples
tourists
Use synonyms
 at three
hours
Use synonyms
 each.
This
Linking Words
 group spent over four
hours
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 at the beach, which was one hour more than the
time
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 they spent reading. Brazilian
tourists
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 spent the most
time
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 at the beach
at
Punctuation problem
, at
show examples
 six
hours
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,
while
Linking Words
 their
time
Use synonyms
 visiting
places
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 was slightly under two
hours
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, tourists, time, places with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average number
  • leisure activities
  • tourists
  • nationalities
  • cultural trends
  • interests
  • vacation
  • influence
  • participation
  • impact
  • weather
  • events
  • festivals
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