IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The best way to educate children is by using the internet in every lesson. To what extent do you share this opinion? What other ways are there of making lessons effective for children?

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In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era,
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
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 of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 has become ubiquitous around the globe with the advent of technology.
Internet
Correct article usage
The Internet
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 is
more
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a more
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 significant source used by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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teachers in order to teach students. I largely concur with
this
Linking Words
 statement as it not only
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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 flexibility but
also
Linking Words
aid
Correct subject-verb agreement
aids
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 them with numerous
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
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 of information. To embark on, being dependent on the internet for

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task response
Answer all parts of the task. You give your view, but you do not talk about other ways to make lessons work well for children.
task response
Develop your main idea more. Your point about the internet is clear, but it needs more detail and one full example.
task response
Write a clear ending. Your essay has a start, but no full conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear plan: introduction, body 1, body 2, conclusion. This will make your essay easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly. Use simple words like first, also, for example, and in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Finish each paragraph fully. The second paragraph stops too early, so the reader cannot follow your full meaning.
task response
Your position is clear: you mostly agree that the internet is useful in lessons.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction gives the topic and your main view.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as 'To embark on,' to start a new point.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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