IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people thing that the best way to reduce time spent in traveling to work is to replace gardens and park close to the city center with apartments and building for the commuters, other disagree. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

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Time spent commuting
form
Use the right word
from
show examples
 home to work has
been always
Correct word order
always been
show examples
 a debated topic, but
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
in
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
 it is to some extent increasingly controversial. Some people agree with the idea
to use
Change preposition
of using
show examples
 green areas in the outskirts to construct
apartametns
Correct your spelling
apartments
 for commuters,
while
Linking Words
 others think completely
different
Rephrase
differently
show examples
. I will try to discuss both points of view
giving
Punctuation problem
, giving
show examples
 my opinion.
One
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the one hand,
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 parks or in general green areas
nearby
Change preposition
near
show examples
 the city could be negative for
citizen's
Check wording
citizens'
show examples
 health

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task response
Write a full essay with four parts: intro, view 1, view 2, and your opinion.
task response
Answer all parts of the task. You need both views and a clear opinion.
task response
Add clear examples to support each main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use one main idea in each paragraph and explain it more.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, and finally.
coherence and cohesion
Finish with a short conclusion that repeats your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
You started with an introduction to the topic.
task response
You showed that there are two different views.
task response
Your writing stays on the topic.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • commute time
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution reduction
  • urban areas
  • proximity
  • work-life balance
  • recreational areas
  • air quality
  • biodiversity
  • aesthetic
  • livability
  • mental health benefits
  • accessible green spaces
  • public transportation infrastructure
  • remote work
  • urban redesign
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