IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books all the times, and they think is a waste of time to read any entertainment books. What is your opinion about this?

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Some parents think entertainment
books
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 are a waste of
time
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 and want their children to read only serious educational
books
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. In my opinion, parents shouldn't think that
books
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 are a waste of
time
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 at all. Just because the book might not be an educational title
it
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, it
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 doesn't mean it is a waste of
time
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,
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;
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 in fact, despite any label,
books
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 are always a source of knowledge. It is known that a
children's
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child's
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 brain is significantly different from an
adults
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adult's
show examples
 brain,
this
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 is
due to
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 their developing phase
and
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, and
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 it results in different
rythm
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rhythm
 of energy, concentration and attention.
That is
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 why
kids
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demands
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demand
show examples
 more
dynamical
Replace the word
dynamic
 activities. Childhood is the phase of life in which habits are
build
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built
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. Specialists state that the reading habit is easier when introduced earlier to
kids
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, but the activity needs to be pleasant. Limiting
kids
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of
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to
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 reading only serious educational
books
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 can make them associate reading
to
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with
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 a burden
and
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, and
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 later in life, when they can make their own decisions, they
migth
Correct your spelling
might
 decide
stop
Verb problem
to stop
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 reading
instead
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 of trying to read entertainment ones.
For
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this
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 reason entertaiment
books
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 are considered fundamental for building reading habits during
this
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 phase of life.
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Besides
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Besides,
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 they
also
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 usually contain educational information, but in a simpler format. Some teachers defend that reading during childhood should be a leisure
time
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and
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activity and
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 not only studying. A
time
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 to build their
humor
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humour
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, imagination and creativity through all kinds of
books
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.
On the other hand
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, other professionals recommend
to split
Wrong verb form
splitting
show examples
 the reading
time
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 between both genres, and bringing the educational ones with titles about something of their interest/hobby, in order to catch their attention. In conclusion, parents should
incentivate
Verb problem
incentivise
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kids
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 to read,
despite
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regardless of
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 the genre. The focus should be
in
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on
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 building the habit and making reading a fun moment, more than imposing what kind of
books
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 should be read.

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task response
Give one clear answer at the start and keep it strong in all parts.
task response
Add one or two real and clear examples to support your ideas.
task response
Explain some main ideas more fully, not only in a short way.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more careful way so each part joins well.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body part have one main point and then support it.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar, because some errors make meaning less clear.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
Most ideas stay on the topic of children and reading.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphs well, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • serious books
  • educational books
  • entertainment books
  • a waste of time
  • build a reading habit
  • love of reading
  • gain knowledge
  • broaden the mind
  • spark imagination
  • feel bored
  • study pressure
  • read for pleasure
  • language skills
  • understand others
  • keep a balance
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