IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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In
contemporary
Correct article usage
the contemporary
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 era, it is true that people are able to purchase
food
Use synonyms
 imported from other nations in local supermarkets. From my
perspectives
Check wording
perspective
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,
this
Linking Words
 trend is largely a positive development, despite a few drawbacks. On the one hand, it is more convincing
for
Change preposition
to
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 me that the availability of global
food
Use synonyms
 brings significant benefits to consumers.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it enriches people’s nutritional intake and eating experience. People are no longer limited to local and seasonal ingredients, allowing them to satisfy all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of nutrition and discover new
flavors
Change the spelling
flavours
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. Unlike monotonous local diets, globally sourced
food
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 offers exotic tastes,
such
Linking Words
 as pairing Japanese matcha with French pastries.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the global
food
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 trade boosts international economic cooperation. In the past,
famers
Correct your spelling
farmers
 and
food
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 producers sold only to the local consumers, but now
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon expands their markets and increases incomes, driving economic growth on a global scale.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is undeniable
to believe
Verb problem
apply
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that
this
Linking Words
 trend creates some problems. Long-distance transportation of
food
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 requires huge amounts of
fuels
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fuel
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, which leads to higher carbon dioxide emissions and worsens environmental pollution.
In addition
Linking Words
, the fact that traditional eating habits and culture may be eroded
also
Linking Words
 deserves our attention.
This
Linking Words
 is because exposure to diverse cuisines directly
enriched
Wrong verb form
enriches
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 cultural appreciation, which
enlarge
Correct subject-verb agreement
enlarges
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 competition and danger to local
food
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 culture. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 buying
food
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 from around the world causes environmental problems and threatens local
food
Use synonyms
 culture, I firmly believe its advantages are more significant, including improve nutritious diet, eating experience and national economic trade.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in each body part. Put the topic sentence first, then explain it step by step.
coherence cohesion
Use link words in a more natural way. Some parts sound forced or not fully clear.
task achievement
Give one more clear and real example to support each main point.
task achievement
Develop the bad side more fully. Now the good side is stronger, so the answer feels a bit uneven.
coherence cohesion
Check word form and grammar because some errors make your ideas less clear.
task achievement
You answered both sides and gave a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Your ideas are mostly relevant to the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
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