IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

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Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
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people
Use synonyms
 face
with
Change preposition
apply
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a huge
competition
Use synonyms
in their
Change preposition
on a
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 daily basis. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
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individuals accept
this
Linking Words
 fact as advantageous for them and their future, but others are sure that unity makes our life better. On the one hand ,
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
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 of rivalry bring advantages in our contemporary era of technology.
Firstly
Linking Words
, contention on work and study
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
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people
Use synonyms
 to work and continue developing in their field. As
the
Correct article usage
a
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 result young generation
evolve
Correct subject-verb agreement
evolves
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 and
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 not let life stand in one place, so
competition
Use synonyms
motivate
Correct subject-verb agreement
motivates
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people
Use synonyms
 to become better.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
competition
Use synonyms
 foster to be disciplined and
responsible
Replace the word
responsibility
. It is obvious that time management, strict rules and staying focused are key to success
, mostly
Punctuation problem
; most
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people
Use synonyms
 need to see the
competition
Use synonyms
 between
ones
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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 to build perseverance. On the
another
Correct determiner usage
other
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 hand, life is not
battle
Correct article usage
a battle
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 and
place
Correct article usage
a place
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 for surviving, in the atmosphere of pressure and
competition
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
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 become
an enemy
Fix the agreement mistake
enemies
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 to each other.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in
there
Correct determiner usage
this
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 day and age
human
Punctuation problem
, human
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being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
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 witness numerous
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of problems that lead to
ailment
Check wording
ailments
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, so one of
that
Fix the agreement mistake
those
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 reasons
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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competition
Use synonyms
 and
fear
Correct article usage
the fear
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 of
being failed
Replace the word
failure
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 feel themselves as
they
Correct word choice
if they
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 live in
cell
Correct article usage
a cell
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 and cannot sense the freedom and peace. In consequence,
sense
Correct article usage
the sense
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 of unity and friendship are lost in
human
Correct article usage
a human
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 being’s heart. In conclusion, it is true to say that
competition
Use synonyms
 might be beneficial, but destroy
peoples heart
Check wording
people's hearts
show examples
.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You show both views, but your own view is not fully clear until the end.
task response
Add one clear example for each main point. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to trust.
task response
Explain your ideas more. Some points are good, but they are too short or too general.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some parts do not flow well from one idea to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph focus on one main idea and then support it with reasons or examples.
task response
You discuss both competition and cooperation, so you address the main topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphing, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
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