IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while ​others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too.​ Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some people may think managers alone should make the
decisions
Use synonyms
 in the
company
Punctuation problem
company,
show examples
that is
Linking Words
 because they do not want to take on the responsibility of making critical
decisions
Use synonyms
.
While
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 others think that employees should be involved in the
decision making
Correct your spelling
decision-making
 process too. They want to be involved in the important
decisions
Use synonyms
 made for the company, because they know that those
decisions
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 will affect their work
life
Punctuation problem
life,
show examples
 so naturally they want to take on
this
Linking Words
 responsibility
aswell
Correct your spelling
as well
. My opinion is
employees
Correct word choice
that employees
show examples
 must be involved in important
decisions
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 because those important choices made by the manager will not only affect the company but
also
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 their work life. So
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 fully think that the employees should be involved with meetings and discuss matters like these with the manager.

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task response
Write about both sides more fully. Now, the first side and the second side are both very short.
task response
Add one clear reason for each side, then explain it with one simple example.
task response
Give your opinion in a clear way at the end and also show it in the main body.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear paragraphing: one paragraph for view one, one for view two, and one for your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like 'first', 'however', 'for example', and 'therefore'.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long. Break them into two shorter sentences for better flow.
task response
You answered the question and gave your opinion.
task response
Your main idea is easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
There is a basic beginning and ending.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is simple and mostly clear.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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