IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Human activity has had a negative impact on planys and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about change. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Human activity has seriously damaged nature in many parts of the world. Forests are being destroyed, oceans are polluted, and many species are disappearing because of
Use synonyms
humans
Correct word choice
human
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 actions. Some
people
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 believe the damage is already too
giant
Correct word choice
great
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 to fix,
while
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 others think that
humans
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 still have the power to
improvw
Correct your spelling
improve
 the situation. In my opinion,
although
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 the problem is severe, there is still hope if
people
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 and governments take responsibility. On one hand, many
people
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 think environmental destruction cannot be reversed. Over the years, industries have cut down huge areas of forests, causing animals to lose their natural habitats.
In addition
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, pollution from factories and vehicles has increased global warming and affected ecosystems everywhere. Some species have already become extinct, which means they can never return. Because of
this
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, many individuals believe
humans
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 have crossed the limit and that the planet will continue to suffer no matter what actions are taken.
On the other hand
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, others argue that change is still possible. Governments can create stricter environmental laws to reduce pollution and protect wildlife.
People
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 can
also
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 make a difference by recycling, using less plastic, and supporting clean energy. In several countries, endangered animals have been protected successfully through conservation programs, showing that human effort can have positive results.
Although
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 these changes may take time, they prove that the situation is not completely hopeless. In conclusion, human activity has caused major harm to plants and animals, and some of the damage may be permanent.
However
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, I strongly believe that with serious action and global cooperation,
humans
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 can still protect nature and create a better future for the next generations.

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task response
Add one more clear example in each main part to make your ideas stronger.
task response
Explain a little more why some people think change is not possible.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'First', 'Also', and 'As a result' to make the flow even smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Check small word errors like 'humans actions' and 'too giant to fix'.
task response
You answered both views and gave your own opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and a clear end.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part stays on one main idea, so it is easy to follow.
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