IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both and give your opinion(250-280 words).

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Plants and animals that are on the Earth have been increasingly hurt by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human
actions
Use synonyms
, that with the pass of time,
it debilitates
Correct subject-verb agreement
debilitate
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 the environment. Some parts of society believe that
this
Linking Words
 problem will never be solved.
In contrast
Linking Words
, there are others
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 constantly try to recycle and support businesses that care about our
planet
Use synonyms
, as they believe that the damage produced can be reduced. On the one side some
people
Use synonyms
 think that the constant contamination of the
planet
Use synonyms
 can be changed in a positive way.
This
Linking Words
 can be made by being more conscious about how simple
actions
Use synonyms
 like throwing a paper on the street can lead to a bigger problem as
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pollution. A clear example of
this
Linking Words
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 the companies that encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to recycle, reduce,
reuse
Correct word choice
and reuse
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 in order to start taking care of the
planet
Use synonyms
. On the other
side
Check wording
hand
show examples
, part of the society states that
this
Linking Words
 problem cannot be changed because a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 are too lazy to start protecting the
planet
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is the case of my language teacher’s
sister in law
Correct your spelling
sister-in-law
who
Punctuation problem
, who
show examples
 does not recycle because she is indifferent and unconcerned about the environment, something that
also
Linking Words
 happened to other
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
people,
show examples
 because when they contaminate the
planet
Use synonyms
 with small
actions
Use synonyms
 like throwing waste on the
street
Punctuation problem
street,
show examples
 they do not see the instant damage
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 they do not care about it.
To conclude
Linking Words
our
Punctuation problem
, our
show examples
actions
Use synonyms
 have huge consequences on the Earth, unfortunately it has a negative impact.
Although
Linking Words
 I clearly believe that
this
Linking Words
 issue can be solved if
people
Use synonyms
 start being conscious that their daily
actions
Use synonyms
 have a future impact on the
planet
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about both views, but your own view needs a bit more support.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer main ideas in each body paragraph. Start each paragraph with one direct point.
task response
Add better examples. Your example about one person is too small for this topic.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly with words like on the one hand, on the other hand, as a result, and therefore.
task response
Explain why actions can work. For example, talk about laws, education, or clean energy.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence connection. Some long sentences are hard to follow and need better control.
task response
You answered both parts of the question and gave your opinion in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
The topic stays focused on damage to plants, animals, and the planet.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple linking words such as in contrast, on the one side, and to conclude.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • negative impact
  • extinct
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • habitat destruction
  • mitigate
  • reverse
  • stricter regulations
  • protected areas
  • endangered species
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • biodiversity
  • consequences
  • renewable energy sources
  • organic farming
  • eco-tourism
  • environmental regulations
  • sustainable practices
  • natural ecosystems
  • preserve biodiversity
What to do next:
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