IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some countries allow the young above 18 years to drive,drink or married. Some countries don't. Give reasons along with personal experience and what do you think is the ideal age for taking adult responsibilities.

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Every
country
Use synonyms
 has its own rules and regulations. But, the majority of the
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
 are now changing their rules and
regulation
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regulations
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. I agree with the statement and rules that
grants
Correct subject-verb agreement
grant
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 18 years or above to drive, drink and get married because
this
Linking Words
taught the
Wrong verb form
teaches
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 individuals how to survive
their
Change preposition
on their
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 own in the world. My
personel
Correct your spelling
personal
 experience is when the individual gets 18 years old. He should make his own
decisions
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. Making
decisions
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 helps them gain confidence to survive the world and
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them grow, finding a job and taking on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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adult responsibilities. Parents should start to
nuture
Use the right word
nurture
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 their children when they
become
Verb problem
are
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 over seven years old or when they know the difference between right and wrong. Countries which do not allow driving and getting married after or during age of 18 tend to have less confident individuals
which
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, which
show examples
effects
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affects
show examples
 their
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country
Check wording
country's
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overall
Linking Words
 development. They are more prone to face the circumstances which they are not used to and make indecisive
decisions
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. Which effects
on
Verb problem
have on
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 themselves and on the
country
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 itself. The people
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 are
throughly taughted
Correct your spelling
thoroughly taught
 how to take responsibilities
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 no problems and do not get overwhelmed by them and make better choices which
helps
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help
show examples
 them and their
country
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,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 In conclusion, there is
a
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apply
show examples
research which says that people who are
teached
Wrong verb form
taught
show examples
 and shaped before the age of 18
tends
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tend
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 to make better
decisions
Use synonyms
 and
ready
Verb problem
are ready
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 to take on the responsibilities
Punctuation problem
, rather
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rather than the
Correct word choice
whereas
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 individuals
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 are not
taughted
Correct your spelling
taught
 well
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 no confidence and other issues when they are left to survive in the world.

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task response
Answer all parts more fully. Give clear reasons for both sides and say your ideal age in a direct way.
task response
Use one main idea in each body paragraph, then explain it with a simple example.
task response
Your personal experience is too general. Add one real and clear example from your life or from people near you.
coherence and cohesion
Make the order easier to follow. Start with your opinion, then give reasons, then end with a short final view.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, for example, however, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long or not fully clear. Break them into shorter sentences.
task response
You give a clear opinion that age 18 is a good time for adult duties.
task response
You try to answer the question with reasons, your view, and a short ending.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
There is a basic flow from one paragraph to the next.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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