Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Some individuals argue that states must provide help
support
Use synonyms
to
artists
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
others
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
that
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is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
of
money
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and
this
Linking Words
budget might
used
Verb problem
be used
show examples
somewhere else .
Althogh
Correct your spelling
Although
helping to
artists
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might
rise
Verb problem
raise
show examples
tourism
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and develop culture ,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
believe that
this
Linking Words
support
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need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
to go to
avarage
Correct your spelling
average
citizens. On the one hand,
support
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for
artists
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can make
country
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
well-known in the world and demonstrate its culture to other
countries
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. If singers and actresses get really big
support
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from goverment they can build a very good career and perform
at
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on
show examples
world stages . So after they get popular
a
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, a
show examples
lot of people might come to the
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artists
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artist's
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country
and
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, and
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this
Linking Words
is how
artists
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develop
tourism
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.
For example
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UK government supported the creation of the **Beatles Legacy Group
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
now** Beatles-related
tourism
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is worth over **£100 million annually .
However
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i think if
this
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money
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were used to help their people,
this
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might be better .**
On the other hand
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,
this
Linking Words
amount of
money
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could help make
citizens life
Check wording
citizens' lives
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better.Providing free school or hospital help and
spent
Wrong verb form
spending
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money
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on fixing roads
more
Verb problem
is more
show examples
essential than supporting
artists
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. In many people’s eye saving
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
and making it more comfortable is more important .
For
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instance
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instance,
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countries
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like Sweden and Denmark give a lot of help to their people
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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in
Change preposition
as a
show examples
result
this
Linking Words
countries
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is in top of happy
countries
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,
so
Correct word choice
which
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means
thier
Correct your spelling
their
citizens
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
apply
show examples
love their life. I believe states need to spend their
money
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on
this
Linking Words
first
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
only
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
support
Punctuation problem
, support
show examples
artists
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. In conclusion,
while
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giving
support
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to
artists
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might make
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
famous and cultivate
tourism
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, solving more essential problems is
more
Rephrase
apply
show examples
better

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coherence cohesion
Write your ideas in a more clear order. Start each body part with one main point, then explain it, then give an example.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words more carefully, like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'For example', and 'In conclusion'.
coherence cohesion
Make each main idea more full. Some points are good, but they need more explanation.
task achievement
You answered all parts of the task, but your opinion should be even more direct and strong in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
Give examples in a more natural way. Your Beatles example is relevant, but it should be added more smoothly.
task achievement
Check grammar and word form because mistakes sometimes make your ideas hard to follow.
task achievement
You discussed both sides and gave your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You used some clear linking words to guide the reader.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote
  • culture
  • creativity
  • economic growth
  • tourism
  • social development
  • personal development
  • merit
  • financial support
  • balanced
  • transparent
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