Some think that reading stories from book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
In past,
childrens
Use synonyms
red stories from
books
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
the trend has
got
Verb problem
apply
show examples
changed. Nowadays,children prefer watching
tv
Fix capitalization
TV
show examples
and playing
games
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
of reading
books
Use synonyms
.
howerver
Correct your spelling
However
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
believe both activities have their own benefits.
Firstly
Linking Words
by
Punctuation problem
, by
show examples
watching movies
childrens
Use synonyms
learn
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how to speak.
movies
Fix capitalization
Movies
show examples
can make their vocabulary perfect.
While
Linking Words
playing
Use synonyms
games
Punctuation problem
games,
show examples
kids
Use synonyms
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
get bored.
they
Fix capitalization
They
show examples
can spend their free time easily.From some
Use synonyms
games
Add a comma
games,
show examples
they learn
problem solving
Correct your spelling
problem-solving
skills.Playing educational
games
Use synonyms
can make their mind more faster and
thinking
Correct determiner usage
their thinking
show examples
capacity
more strong
Replace the word
stronger
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,with the help of
Use synonyms
games
Add a comma
games,
show examples
kids
Use synonyms
feel
stress free
Correct your spelling
stress-free
and relaxed.Some
games
Use synonyms
can
also
Linking Words
make
their
Fix the agreement mistake
one's
show examples
memory strong.
Kids
Use synonyms
are very fast
learner
Fix the agreement mistake
learners
show examples
through some
Use synonyms
games
Punctuation problem
games,
show examples
they
also
Linking Words
learn
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
.
Kids
Use synonyms
can understand things better with visual learning.They learn how to use technology.
For example
Linking Words
,racing car
games
Use synonyms
can teach them basic tools and driving
things
Check wording
skills
show examples
easily.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,reading
book
Correct article usage
a book
show examples
is
also
Linking Words
very important.By reading mind get more sharp.
Use synonyms
childrens
Correct your spelling
Children
get new
new idea
Check wording
ideas
show examples
by thinking their own self.
Use synonyms
Kids
Check wording
Kids'
show examples
concentration got better.Reading
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
show examples
their vocabulary and speaking skills.
Books
Use synonyms
can gave knowladge to
kids
Use synonyms
.
Kids
Use synonyms
gain knowledge and confidence through
books
Use synonyms
. IN conclusion,
although
Linking Words
tv
Fix capitalization
TV
show examples
and
games
Use synonyms
can be useful for entertainment and learning,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
believe reading
books
Use synonyms
is more beneficial for
Use synonyms
childrens
Check wording
children's
show examples
overall
Linking Words
development.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the question more clearly. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree in the first part.
task response
Write more about why books are better, because your last view says books are more useful.
task response
Use one or two clear examples that fit your main idea. Your car game example is not very strong.
coherence and cohesion
Group ideas in a better way. Put all game ideas in one part and all book ideas in one part.
coherence and cohesion
Use easy linking words like First, Also, On the other hand, and In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main point clear, then add one short reason or example after it.
task response
You answered both sides of the topic: books, TV, and games.
task response
You have a clear ending, and your view is there.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a basic order: start, middle ideas, and end.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like Nowadays, Moreover, On the other hand, and In conclusion.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: