IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries, traditional food are being replaced by international fast food. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many countries are witnessing a growing preference for international fast
food
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 over traditional cuisine.
This
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 trend is having harmful effects on both families and society. I completely agree with
this
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 viewpoint because fast
food
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 negatively affects
people
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’s
health
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 and weakens cultural identity.
To begin
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 with, fast
food
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 is generally unhealthy and can lead to serious
health
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 problems. Most fast-
food
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 meals contain high levels of fat, sugar, and salt, which may result in obesity and other diseases.
In addition
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,
food
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 served in fast-
food
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 restaurants is often prepared in advance and stored for long periods before being reheated and served.
As a result
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,
people
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 may suffer from
health
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 issues,
for example
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,
food
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 poisoning or stomach infections.
Furthermore
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,
due to
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 busy lifestyles, many families prefer eating outside
instead
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 of preparing fresh meals at home, which reduces the quality of their diet. Another negative effect of fast
food
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 is the gradual disappearance of traditional cuisine and cultural values. Many countries are well known for their local dishes, which reflect their history and culture.
However
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, the popularity of international fast-
food
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 chains is causing traditional recipes to lose importance.
For instance
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,
people
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 nowadays are eating at Pizza Hut or Burger King rather than at a local
restaurants
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurant
show examples
 with traditional
food
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. If
this
Linking Words
 trend continues, future generations may become more familiar with burgers and pizzas than with their own national dishes.
Consequently
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,
people
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 may slowly forget their cultural roots and traditions. In conclusion,
although
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 fast
food
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 is convenient and popular, I strongly believe that it has negative effects on both
health
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 and culture.
Therefore
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,
people
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 should be encouraged to consume fresh home-cooked meals and preserve their traditional cuisine.

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear and you fully agree with the idea. This is good. To get a higher score, add one more strong and clear example for each main point.
task response
For task response, some ideas are good but could be more fully explained. For example, say more about how fast food changes family life, not only health and culture.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear structure with introduction, two body parts, and conclusion. This helps the reader follow your ideas easily.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, linking words like 'to begin with', 'in addition', 'however', and 'consequently' are used well. To improve more, make some links smoother and avoid using too many simple connectors.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, most main points are supported, but some support is still general. Add a more specific result or short real-life example to make each paragraph stronger.
task response
You answer the question directly and clearly show your opinion from the start.
task response
Your essay stays on the topic and does not go off track.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and effective.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea, so the essay is easy to read.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • nutritional value
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart diseases
  • family mealtime traditions
  • local economies
  • carbon footprint
  • culinary skills
  • homogenization
  • globalization
  • convenient
  • accessible meals
  • traditional cuisine
  • fast-paced lifestyle
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