Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

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People want buy the more of one thing in the same time
this
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is
due to
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several reasons
firstly
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seeing the objects in advertisements from influencers on social media secndly desire for things is too expensive for their wages, the solution is salary planing
for instance
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put budgets for every things they are need it
for example
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cooking supplied , electricity,clothes,internet bill
as well as
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water bil
therefore
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limited the spending on things no needed to it ,in conclusion my advice is put the remaining money in saving account possibly need it in the future

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coherence cohesion
Write two clear parts: reasons first, then action. This will make your answer easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Use short sentences with full stops. Now many ideas are in one long line, so the reader can get lost.
coherence cohesion
Add simple link words like First, Second, For example, and In conclusion.
task achievement
Explain each main idea a bit more. Tell why ads make people buy and how a budget can stop debt.
task achievement
Give one clear example of a person or family plan. This will make your ideas stronger.
task achievement
Answer both questions in a balanced way. Your essay has reasons and action, but the action part needs more detail.
task achievement
You answer both parts of the task: reasons and action are both here.
coherence cohesion
You have a short ending with advice, so there is a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your main ideas are easy to see: social media, high cost, budget plan, and saving money.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • debt
  • afford
  • spend
  • buy
  • things
  • need
  • emotional
  • pressure
  • social
  • friends
  • buying
  • items
  • financial
  • education
  • manage
  • money
  • budget
  • impact
  • loans
  • overspend
  • accumulate
  • impulse
  • whim
  • regret
  • issues
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