IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the best way to resolve environmental problems is to increase fuel and vehicles’ prices. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

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It has been suggested that the best solution to settle environmental issues is to
grow
Correct word order
increase the cost of fuel and vehicles
show examples
fuel
Use synonyms
 and vehicles'
costs
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I think there should be equal solutions for these obstacles. To tell the truth, most people believe that the easiest way to reduce global warming is to increase
Use synonyms
fuel and vehicles’
Correct word order
the cost of fuel and vehicles
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costs
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it depends on the country's
economical
Replace the word
economic
 and financial conditions.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is true that the
fuel
Use synonyms
 evaporates
to
Change preposition
into
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 the air,
then
Linking Words
pierce
Correct subject-verb agreement
pierces
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 the ozone layer and fills it with dangerous air.
Secondly
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, now all the companies have already started to produce electric and hybrid
cars
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, which run
with
Change preposition
on
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 electric power.
In addition
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, electric vehicle industries reduce
costs
Use synonyms
 for their
cars
Use synonyms
, and it is cost-friendly for everyone;
in contrast
Linking Words
, vehicles that work with
fuel
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 are more expensive than
them
Verb problem
they are
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. What is more, it is easy to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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 the power of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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electric
cars
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, and now you can find vehicle power stations
every
Change preposition
at every
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 point
of
Change preposition
in
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 the world. The best side of them is that they are simplifying
beigns'
Correct your spelling
beings'
 lives with
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 special AI additions
such
Linking Words
 as smart monitors and high level auto pilot modes. Today, everyone entrusts their lives to the robots. To illustrate, when people go
to the
Change preposition
on
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 long road trips or
unknown
Change preposition
to unknown
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places
Punctuation problem
places,
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 they usually use the help of
AI based
Correct your spelling
AI-based
 map
softwares
Check wording
software
show examples
. Recent research shows that in the
last
Linking Words
 decade, the indicators for people who bought electric
cars
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instead
Linking Words
traditional
Change preposition
of traditional
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cars
Use synonyms
 surged dramatically from 16% in 2016 to 74% in 2026.
Furthermore
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, traditional car companies are in
competetion
Correct your spelling
competition
 with new generation
cars
Use synonyms
. They are reducing and increasing the
costs
Use synonyms
 of
petrols
Check wording
petrol
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 and
cars
Use synonyms
work
Correct pronoun usage
, which work
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 with fuels.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it would be both practical and useful to increase the price of
cars
Use synonyms
 and gasoline.

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task response
Write your main answer more clearly. You say you want equal solutions, but the end says higher prices are useful. This gives a mixed view.
task response
Answer the question all the way through. If you partly agree, say this clearly in each body part.
task response
Give more direct reasons about how higher fuel and car prices can help the environment.
task response
Some ideas are not fully explained. For example, electric cars and AI are mentioned, but the link to the main question is not always clear.
task response
Use examples that fit the topic more closely. The map software example is not very useful for this question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each body paragraph. This will make your writing easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Some links are weak or unclear, so the flow is not smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. A few ideas jump too fast from one point to another.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each point supports your main opinion. This will improve unity.
coherence and cohesion
You give a clear introduction and a short conclusion.
task response
You try to use examples and reasons to support your ideas.
task response
You discuss fuel cars and electric cars, so your essay stays on the general topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Environmental problems
  • Fuel prices
  • Vehicle emissions
  • Sustainability
  • Public transportation
  • Alternative energy sources
  • Innovation
  • Government intervention
  • Renewable energy
  • Commuting
  • Low-income individuals
  • Disproportionate effect
  • Resistance
  • Pushback
  • Infrastructure
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