people think that it is more important to plant trees in open areas of town and cities than to build more housing . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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These days, many individuals believe that it is essential to plant
trees
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in rural
areas
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and
cities
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rather than building more
houses
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.
This
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essay will partially agree with the view and explain why I believe that planting
trees
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and building
houses
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are both important, as one helps to balance the environment and the other reduces the housing crisis.
To begin
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with, society thinks that tree planting is more important than building new apartments
and
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, and
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I believe they are right.
This
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is because we have seen many changes in the environment all over the world , and
also
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the temperature is getting either very high or very low
just
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, just
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because of deforestation.
In addition
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, deforestation leads to less rain in most of the
cities
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as well as
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and
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towns.
As a result
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, farmers and many animals may suffer.
For example
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, if there is less
trees
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where people live, they might not get both clean and fresh air because forests and green
areas
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make the air pollution-free.
Therefore
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, human beings live longer without any lung diseases.
On the other hand
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, building new
houses
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is as important as planting
trees
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. If there are limited
houses
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and old
houses
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for a long time, people may face a housing crisis
and
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, and
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in the future , buying a new house will be impossible.
In addition
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, nowadays the population is migrating from rural
areas
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to developed
cities
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.
As a result
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, the community requires more accommodation,
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otherwise
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apply
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they have to live on the streets and in
the
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apply
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tents.
For instance
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, if the government plants
trees
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in open
areas
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,
they
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it
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may not be able to build new
houses
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.
Thus
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, most people will never go to find better opportunities in
cities
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and towns. In conclusion,
although
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building new
houses
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in society is important, as it reduces housing prices and crises, I believe planting
trees
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is more important to maintain fresh and clean air, because it will prevent many lung diseases.

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task response
Make your main view more clear from the start. You say you partly agree, but the last part says trees are more important. Keep one clear line all through the essay.
task response
Add more direct support for your ideas. Some points are good, but they need deeper explanation of how and why.
task response
Use examples that feel more real and exact. Your ideas about air, rain, and housing are relevant, but the examples are still general.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some sentences jump fast from one point to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph focus. Each body paragraph has a clear main idea, but a few sentences could connect better to that main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with small grammar and word form problems, because they can make the flow less smooth.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic, so the reader can see a balanced discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present and easy to find.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear paragraph plan: one side, the other side, then a final view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental sustainability
  • biodiversity
  • aesthetic value
  • recreational areas
  • community engagement
  • physical well-being
  • mental health
  • urban planning
  • housing shortages
  • long-term benefits
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