IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today, more and more people are leaving rural areas to live in the city. Discuss some effects of rural recession and the cause of this

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In recent years, migration to urban
citites
Correct your spelling
cities
 has become a pressing concern. Numerous
people
Use synonyms
are preferring
Wrong verb form
prefer
show examples
 to reside in urban
areas
Use synonyms
as compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to villages. Better employment opportunities
as well as
Linking Words
 upliftment of
standard
Correct article usage
the standard
show examples
 of living are the main reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
.It could result
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 less
availabity
Correct your spelling
availability
 of labour in rural
area
Check wording
areas
show examples
 and lower economic development.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,the most salient cause of
shifting
Correct article usage
the shifting
show examples
 of
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 number of
people
Use synonyms
 to
metropolitian
Correct your spelling
metropolitan
cities
Use synonyms
 is
wide
Correct article usage
the wide
show examples
 range of employment
opportunies
Correct your spelling
opportunities
, which could
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
further
Linking Words
 help them
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their future career progression. Being employed in a particular organisation not only
assits
Correct your spelling
assists
 them to broaden
one's
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 knowledge horizon in a particular field of
job
Check wording
work
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 increases their experience. To
examplify
Correct your spelling
exemplify
, in most of the developing nations
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
India
Change preposition
like India
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 are moving to big
cities
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 Delhi and Mumbai
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 after the completion of their higher studies,in order to get
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 in their particular field.
Resultanly
Correct your spelling
Ultimately
, it could
further
Linking Words
 help to maintain financial stability.
Moreover
Linking Words
, lucrative remuneration is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
another reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 living in urban
areas
Use synonyms
,which has become part and parcel of today's world in order to fulfil basic amenities in life. In order to access facilities
such
Linking Words
 as clothes, shelter
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
as well as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 food , an individual needs to earn
sufficient
Correct article usage
a sufficient
show examples
 amount of money. A large number of
people
Use synonyms
 would
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
prefer to live in big
cities
Use synonyms
 put negative effects on the
overall
Linking Words
 development of the rural
areas
Use synonyms
. Shortage of labour in
such
Linking Words
areas
Use synonyms
 is the major issue that
people
Use synonyms
 are facing
at the
Change preposition
to a
show examples
 large extent, which contributes to
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
show examples
 in production , especially in
agriculture
Correct article usage
the agriculture
show examples
 sector. To cite an example,in India,a large number of youngsters are moved to the developed
cities
Use synonyms
 since
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they are allured by the facilities in
such
Linking Words
cities
Use synonyms
, which
further
Linking Words
 results into less workers in rural
areas
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it may be the root cause of
less Gross Domestic Product of the nation
Correct word order
the nation's lower Gross Domestic Product
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,poverty, in villages, is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
another issue which could be witnessed
due to
Linking Words
 the current aforementioned
trend
Use synonyms
. There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 hardly any affluent families
can
Wrong verb form
to
show examples
 be witnessed in
such
Linking Words
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
, since shifting to large
cities
Use synonyms
 has become a common
trend
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era.Living alone, especially
elder
Correct word choice
elderly
show examples
people
Use synonyms
, is quite challenging as they are facing
economical
Replace the word
economic
 hardships too.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it may
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
 the holistic development of the nation. To encapsulate, career progression
coupled with
Linking Words
 the easy access to basic necessities are the main reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the abovementioned
trend
Use synonyms
, which could cause lower labour
availabity
Correct your spelling
availability
 and
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 in the economic growth of the nation.

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task response
Answer all parts more directly. You gave causes and effects, but some effect points are a bit general.
task response
Make each main idea clearer with one simple point and then one clear example.
task response
Use examples that fully match the point. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence cohesion
Put your ideas in a more simple order. Some long lines are hard to follow.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words with care. Too many can make the flow less smooth.
coherence cohesion
Keep one topic in one paragraph and develop it step by step.
task response
You answered the topic and wrote about both causes and effects.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You used examples about India to support your ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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