IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

"Some people believe that the media should be strictly controlled to prevent false information, while others argue that freedom of the press is essential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion."

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Media
Use synonyms
 control over false
news
Use synonyms
 has recently become a major concern in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
Use synonyms
. Some individual insists that
Use synonyms
media
Correct article usage
the media
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 should
be
Verb problem
have
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 rigid rules and regulations to prevent
news
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 that
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 not
true
Punctuation problem
true,
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while
Linking Words
 others believe that
there
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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freedom
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 of the
press
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 is relevant
as
Correct word choice
, and as
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such
Linking Words
,
be
Verb problem
should be
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 given the opportunity to share whatever they want to share.
Although
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 there are different
views
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to
Change preposition
on
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this
Linking Words
, I will discuss both
views
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but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 I believe that
news
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 should be well investigated before it is shared
thereby
Punctuation problem
, thereby
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 not abusing the
freedom
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 of
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press
Correct article usage
the press
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
media
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 being controlled will help the
media
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 space to be
sanitized
Change the spelling
sanitised
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,
fake
Correct word choice
as fake
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news
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 has caused more harm to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
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, from defamation to the wrong intake of
information
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.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, the bloggers and
media
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house
Correct subject-verb agreement
houses
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 are just selfish
looking
Punctuation problem
, looking
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 for
views
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 and bait
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 has
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
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 negative effects on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, a man was recently killed in a popular market in Nigeria because a competitor posted his photos all over alleging he stole, when the man was
sited
Wrong verb form
seen
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 coming to work,
people
Use synonyms
 gathered and stoned him to death.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
media
Correct article usage
the media
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 team is believed to have been qualified and expects to publish only true
information
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.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
mistake
Check wording
mistakes
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 can happen at times
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is rare, there should be
freedom
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 of
Use synonyms
press
Correct article usage
the press
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
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gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
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 more
information
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 from
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press
Correct article usage
the press
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 who exercise their
freedom
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 better.
People
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 rely mostly on their platform.
Also
Linking Words
, no one should abuse
people
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's
freedom
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. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 I understand there are many
views
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in regards to
Change preposition
regarding
show examples
media
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 control on false
information
Use synonyms
, I'm still of the opinion that
media
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 space should be regulated and
be investigated befire
Correct word order
investigated before
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 a
news
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 in plublished.
This
Linking Words
 will help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 confirm the intake and consumption of
information
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 they take in.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk more about control, but the side about press freedom is short.
task response
Give your opinion in a clear and direct way in each main part, not only in the end.
task response
Explain your ideas more. Some points are good, but they need more detail to be strong.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some parts do not flow well from one idea to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph have one main idea. This will make your writing easier to follow.
task response
You discuss both views and you give your own opinion.
task response
You use one clear example to support your point about false news.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is mostly easy to follow.
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