IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that this money should be allocated to improving living standards on Earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Today, most
richest
Correct word choice
rich
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countries
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trying
Verb problem
are trying
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 to win
space
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 over other competitive
countries
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.
While
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 they
doing
Verb problem
are doing
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space
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 research, some people
accusing
Wrong verb form
accuse that
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 the millions of
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money
Check wording
dollars
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 they
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
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 on
those
Fix the agreement mistake
this
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 research are not really useful and
it's
Wrong verb form
it would be
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 better
those
Correct word choice
if that
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money
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 could be allocated to improve living standards on
earth
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. So,
this
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 essay will discuss
with
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the
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 reasons why i'm partially agree
to
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with
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this
Linking Words
 statement above. Including America,Russia,China and other powerful
countries
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 allocating billions of
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money
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dollars
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 to do huge
space
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programs
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since
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for
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 decades. After decades, they did number of discoveries over
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time. But, they still couldn't find any live planet or even a single living being.
Consequensly
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Consequently
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, they just spent billions of dollars
for
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on
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 useless
programs
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. If we considering on
earth
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, poverty is one of thing that part of people
still
Verb problem
are still
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 beeing suffering
.
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from.
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 And there are
lot
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a lot
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 of people suffering
being
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from
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 hunger and without water. Considering these weaknesses, every nations have a
resposibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to take care of them rather than wasting
money
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 on those
programs
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.
Secondly
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,
Doing
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doing
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space
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 reserch are may be useful for future generations. Most
programs
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purpose
Verb problem
are designed
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 to find any other
live
Replace the word
life
 around the
space
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,
Punctuation problem
.
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On the other hand
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, these
space
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programs
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 can't be carried out without
money
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, because those
programs
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 will have to work under
extream
Correct your spelling
extreme
 environmental conditions. As a
suggetion
Correct your spelling
suggestion
, if all powerful
countries
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 can work together on
space
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programs
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 , it would be more productive and no
money
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wasting any more
Wrong verb form
would be wasted anymore
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.
As a result
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, we can allocate
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
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 of
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money
Correct article usage
the money
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for
Change preposition
to
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 improve the living
atandards
Correct your spelling
standards
 on
earth
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. In conclusion,
I'm
Verb problem
I
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 partially agree to spent lot
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money
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of money
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 on
space
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programs
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it's way better if we can make the
earth
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good
Correct article usage
a good
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 place for everyone by collaborating
powerful
Change preposition
with powerful
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 nations.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly how much you agree, and keep this same view in all body parts.
task response
Add more clear support for each main idea. Explain why space research is not useful now, and why it may help in the future.
task response
Use one or two real examples to support your points, such as poor people needing food, water, health care, or homes.
coherence and cohesion
Make topic sentences more clear at the start of each body part. This helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, for example, and as a result. Be careful not to overuse them.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main point, and make sure the last sentence of the paragraph matches that point.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear essay shape with an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You discuss both sides of the topic and show your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion gives a final view and repeats the main idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • scientific discoveries
  • cutting-edge technology
  • pioneering research
  • socio-economic development
  • improved healthcare
  • education
  • poverty alleviation
  • infrastructure
  • balanced approach
  • cost-effective
  • prioritize
  • allocate
  • resources
  • budget
  • investment
  • sustainable development
What to do next:
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