Some think hosting an international event is beneficial for the country while others believe it is bad.

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It is widely debated whether hosting an international sports
event
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is beneficial for the
country
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. I believe there are several advantages and disadvantages to hosting international events, and the benefits clearly outweigh the drawbacks. In terms of the benefits, hosting international events can enhance the
country
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's reputation.
This
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is because when a
country
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hosts an international
event
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, it is catching the world's attention.
Therefore
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, it is a precious
oppertunity
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opportunity
to show its development and cultural heritage.
For example
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, many countries became well known after hosting an international
event
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,
such
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as the
olympic
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Olympics
.
In addition
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, every
event
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has its own theme, which is related to the unique culture.
As a result
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,
good
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a good
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impression can be left
and
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, and
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country's
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the country's
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reputation can be
leveled up
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elevated
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. Turning to the disadvantages, hosting an international
event
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can be unaffordable. The reason is that the
labor
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labour
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and
construction
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for an
event
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is
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are
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considerable.
Hence
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, the government have to allocate expenditure, which can cause
shortage
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a shortage
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in other aspects of
the
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apply
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society,
such
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as health care and civil
construction
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.
For example
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, Kazakhstan once tried to host a olympic
and
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, and
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it is
devestating
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devastating
, because the government used the funding for public
construction
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to host an
event
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.
Consequently
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, the funding for public transport was insufficient
,
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;
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hence
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, its
construction
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deadline
postponed
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was postponed
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for several years, which caused huge inconvenience to the public. In conclusion,
although
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hosting an
event
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has certain drawbacks to the
country
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,
such
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as delaying the development process, its advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Since it can enhance the
country
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's reputation and leave a great impression
to
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on
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the world.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You say the good side is stronger, but the bad side needs a little more detail too.
task response
Make your main idea very clear in each body paragraph. Start with one clear point, then explain it, then give one strong example.
task response
Use examples that feel more exact and easy to trust. Some examples now are too general or not fully clear.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good. To make it stronger, link ideas more smoothly from one sentence to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with repeated words like 'international event' and 'country'. Try simple other words like 'this event' or 'the host nation'.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the idea jumps too fast. Add short linking words like 'First', 'Also', 'However', and 'As a result'.
task response
You clearly give your opinion in the introduction and keep it to the end.
task response
You discuss both the good side and the bad side, so the answer fits the question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear paragraph plan: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are in a logical order, with benefits first and drawbacks next.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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