Some people believe that exercise and sport should be made compulsory for all school students or others think that students should be free to choose their own activities. What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It has been observed that physical
activities
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become crucial for all
students
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.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that sport must be mandatory for educators, there is
also
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an argument that school
students
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should have
freedom
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the freedom
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to choose their own
activities
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. I agree with making physical
activities
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compulsory for them because of the health benefits
and
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, and
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another reason is not
affecting
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affect
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their academic performance. The foremost argument to justify my stand is that by making the decision, and
it
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making it
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becomes
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apply
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mandatory for all
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students
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students,
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it leads to maintaining both a healthy body and mind for them.
In other words
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, if
students
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pick the
activities
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, they might not pick the ones that involve physical
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activities
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activity
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.
For example
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, video games are so popular among the new generation and by giving them the options to
choose
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choose,
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they might choose it over
the
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apply
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beneficial
activities
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like playing sports
such
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as tennis and swimming.
In addition
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, by changing the regulations to be mandatory, physical
activities
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result in a healthy lifestyle for
students
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. Many studies have
been
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apply
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shown that there are strong relationships between improved cognitive development and doing sport consistently.
Furthermore
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, another reason to support my point is that once it is compulsory for
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students
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students,
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it leads to a fixed schedule. It is possible to say that their studies will not be negatively
affect
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affected
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.
For instance
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, once every student has
a
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the
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right to choose the
activities
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they want to practice, it results in a different variety of schedules.
Moreover
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,
this
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is going to alter their availability and study routine they might have,
so it leads
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which might lead
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to a change
with
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in
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their academic performance.
Also
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, some
students
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might take these
activities
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as an excess, and no longer pay attention to their important tasks
which
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, which
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they will be
evaluating
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evaluated
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based on
them
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apply
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. In conclusion, despite people holding different views, I believe that it is vital to
making
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make
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sport mandatory for all
students
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since it will result in healthy advantages and confirmed schedules that will not interfere with their performance.

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task response
Make your main idea more direct in the first part. Say your opinion in a clear and simple way.
task response
Add one more clear example from school life or your own life. This will make your ideas stronger.
task response
Explain the other side a little more, then show why your view is better.
coherence and cohesion
Use shorter sentences. Some long sentences are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly with words like first, also, however, because, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main point and that every sentence supports it.
task response
You answered the question and gave a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The two main reasons are easy to see.
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