IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

nowadays , a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medecine and treatments instead of visiting doctor. do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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In recent
year
Check wording
years
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 treat
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 problems by self khnowledge
medecine
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of visting specialist
doctor
Use synonyms
. I personally believe that some of
Use synonyms
medecine
Punctuation problem
medecine,
show examples
 if any patient take it wothout
doctor
Use synonyms
's precpective
due to
Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
 risk.
Linking Words
this
Fix capitalization
This
show examples
 will delay
Use synonyms
medecine
Correct your spelling
medicine
 and
Use synonyms
treatment proper
Correct word order
proper treatment
show examples
. On the one hand, nemerous of nation utilize not
grauanted
Correct your spelling
granted medicine
medecine
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 visting actual
doctor
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , our grandmother
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 special traditional
Use synonyms
medecine
Correct your spelling
medicine
 that have positive effect
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
health
Use synonyms
treatment
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
medecine
Correct your spelling
medicine
 can solve the
deases
Correct your spelling
diseases
 at that
time
Use synonyms
 ,
althought
Correct your spelling
although
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
alternative
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
treatment
Check wording
treatments
show examples
 had a negative
reflect
Use the right word
impact
show examples
 on
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
health
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, several
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who believe in
alternative
Use synonyms
medecine
Use synonyms
 they waste
thier
Correct your spelling
their
time
Use synonyms
 ,
health
Use synonyms
 and money .
For instance
Linking Words
, some research in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 said that a number of mother they feed
children
Correct determiner usage
their children
show examples
alternative
Use synonyms
 medicine
this
Linking Words
 lead to
have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
huge
problems
Correct word order
health problems
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 for
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
time
Use synonyms
period
Check wording
apply
show examples
. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 decade , the nation
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 real financial duties , neverthless visting
doctor
Use synonyms
 and taken the
medecine
Use synonyms
 it cost alot of money for
the citizne
Correct your spelling
citizens
 who
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 a limited budget .
Moreover
Linking Words
,
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of social media
specialy
Punctuation problem
, specialy
show examples
 on
health
Use synonyms
 care a large
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
doctor
Use synonyms
 provide their experince among social
plat form
Correct your spelling
platforms
. Because of
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 who have
health
Use synonyms
 care
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
find
easy
Correct pronoun usage
it easy
show examples
 consultation by chating
doctor
Use synonyms
 through online
through
Check wording
chat through
show examples
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
.
Linking Words
for
Fix capitalization
For
show examples
 example , in Dubai in 2026
november
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 one of
specialist
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 skin
doctor
Use synonyms
 give a quick whitening cream
Change preposition
to
show examples
some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
women have a
magic
Replace the word
magical,
 glowing skin
rather
Punctuation problem
, rather
show examples
 than
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 who
destroy
Wrong verb form
destroyed
show examples
 their
face
Replace the word
facial
 skin .
As a result
Linking Words
 , visiting
Use synonyms
doctor
Correct article usage
a doctor
show examples
 is more benficial to have good
health
Use synonyms
.
some
Fix capitalization
Some
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
alternative
Correct article usage
the alternative
show examples
medecine
Use synonyms
 enhance our
health
Use synonyms
 for
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 .Online consultation
not
Verb problem
is not
show examples
 for all
health
Use synonyms
 problems ,
also
Linking Words
 several
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
medecine
Correct your spelling
medicine
 have
benefit
Check wording
benefits
show examples
 for some poeople nether others.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 government
put
Verb problem
has put
show examples
 a nemerous free of charge hospital so you can visit
Use synonyms
doctor
Correct article usage
a doctor
show examples
 and get
Use synonyms
medecine
Correct your spelling
medicine
 with
high qauality
Correct your spelling
high-quality
treatment
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer the question more clearly from the start. Say if it is a positive or negative change, and keep this idea clear in all parts.
task response
Make your main ideas easy to see. Use one main idea for each body part, then explain it with a simple reason.
task response
Use examples that are clear and easy to trust. Some examples in your essay are hard to follow or not fully linked to your main point.
coherence and cohesion
Put your ideas in a better order. Some lines jump from one point to another, so the reader can get lost.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words well, like first, also, however, for example, and as a result. Do not use too many if the idea is not clear.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph stay on one topic. This will help your essay feel more joined and easier to read.
task response
You gave a clear opinion that visiting a doctor is better.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You tried to use examples to support your ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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