In many countries, the number of people suffering from stress is increasing. What are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to address it?

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In recent years, the number of
people
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suffering from stress
is developing
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has been increasing
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dramatically in major countries.
This
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essay will examine the main causes of
this
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problem and discuss possible measures that could help alleviate it. The first issue is excessive pressure, which often occurs in education and workplaces. It is widely believed that some workplaces and educational
centers
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centres
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have requirements
with
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for
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their high-stakes examinations.
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Hence
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Hence,
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it leads
people
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to feel anxiety, fatigue and even burnout since it
request
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requires
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them to perform consistently at a high level within limited time frames.
Moreover
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, the pervasive influence of social
media
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also
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damages
people
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's lives with its curated images and videos.
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, most
of
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apply
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people
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post their memorable pictures to show off or make fake information to get more attention from society
and
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, and
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this
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is the primary reason why the community has a persistent sense of inadequacy. Several measures can be taken to tackle
this
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problem.
Firstly
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, schools and workplaces should reduce unnecessary pressure by creating healthier environments. Educational institutions could focus less on high-stakes examinations and provide students with more emotional support and
counseling
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counselling
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services.
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, employers should encourage a better work-life balance by limiting excessive working hours and offering mental health programs for employees.
Secondly
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, governments and schools should raise awareness about the harmful effects of social
media
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.
People
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should be taught how to use online platforms responsibly and avoid comparing themselves to unrealistic content. In my opinion, these measures would significantly reduce stress levels and improve
people
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’s
overall
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well-being. In conclusion, stress is becoming increasingly common
due to
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academic and workplace pressure
as well as
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the harmful impact of social
media
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.
However
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, by reducing unrealistic expectations and promoting healthier social
media
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habits,
this
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issue can be addressed effectively.

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task response
For task response, answer both parts in a more full way. Your causes are clear, and your fixes are clear, but some ideas need more detail.
task response
For task response, use one or two real and clear examples. This will make your points stronger and easier to trust.
task response
For task response, be careful with word choice. Some parts are not exact, like 'stress is developing dramatically'. Say 'stress is increasing rapidly' instead.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear 4-part structure: intro, causes, solutions, conclusion. This is good.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, link ideas more smoothly inside some sentences. A few lines are hard to follow because the grammar breaks the flow.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, make support more even. The first cause is explained well, but the social media point needs a simpler and clearer chain of cause and effect.
task response
You answer both questions in the task, so your essay stays on topic.
task response
Your main ideas are easy to see: pressure from study and work, and social media.
task response
Your solutions match your causes well, which helps the essay feel complete.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear paragraphing, and this makes the essay easy to read.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present and clear.
coherence and cohesion
Words like 'Firstly', 'Similarly', and 'Secondly' help guide the reader.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...
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