Some people think having a university is the best way to secure a good job. However, other believe that skill and experience is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, finding a successful career has become one of the main goals for many
people
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. To get a great
jobs
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job
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either by
university
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or
skills
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and
experience
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both
Punctuation problem
, both
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views have valid arguments.
This
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essay will discuss both opinions before giving my own view.
Firstly
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,
university
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education provides students with academic knowledge and qualifications that are necessary for many professions. Careers
such
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as medicine, engineering, and law
requires
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require
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university
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degrees before
people
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can work in these fields.
In addition
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, universities
helps
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help
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students develop communication, research, and critical thinking
skills
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, which are useful in the workplace. Students
also
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have the opportunity to learn from experienced professors and participate in academic projects that improve their understanding of their subjects.
Moreover
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, having a degree can increase a person’s chances of finding stable employment and earning a higher salary. For these reasons, many
people
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believes
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believe
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that
university
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education is the safest path to a successful career.
On the other hand
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, supporters of practical
experience
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argue that employers prefer workers who can perform tasks effectively. Many
skills
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can be learned through training, internships, and real-life work rather than in classrooms.
For example
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,
people
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in technology, business, and design industries often
improves
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improve
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their abilities through practice and
experience
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.
Furthermore
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, social media platforms
such
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as Instagram and TikTok
has
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have
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created opportunities for
people
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to earn money through content creation and online businesses without
university
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degrees.
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This
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These
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opportunities allow many young
people
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to become successful at an early age. In my opinion,
although
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university
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education is valuable,
skills
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and
experience
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are more important in today’s modern world. Employers increasingly focus on what
people
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can do
instead
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of only their academic qualifications.
Therefore
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, practical
experience
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and useful
skills
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provides
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provide
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individuals with greater opportunities for long-term career success.

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task response
Make your opinion more clear in the body, not only at the end.
task response
Give one more clear example for each side to make your ideas stronger.
task response
Explain a few ideas more deeply, so the reader can see why they matter.
coherence and cohesion
Check linking words and use them in a natural way.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph on one main idea and add one or two clear support points.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with small grammar errors, because they can make the flow less smooth.
task response
You discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
task response
Your ideas are relevant to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are in a logical order and easy to follow.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
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