IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The care for children is probably the most important job in any society. For this reason, all mothers and fathers must take a course that prepares them to become good parents. To that extent do you agree or disagree?

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Raising kids is certainly one of the most important jobs in any society.
While
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 some people believe that all mothers and fathers must take a
course
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 to prepare themselves to become good
parents
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, I disagree that a
course
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 should be mandatory.
Although
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 a
course
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 can be important and obviously could help
parents
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 to prepare for the journey of parenting, there are many other aspects to be considered. First and most important, it has to be considered that
parents
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 have different
background
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backgrounds
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 and may have had previous experience minding younger siblings, nephews, nieces or cousins. In
this
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 case, they don't need to learn from scratch, since they probably know the basics and will be able to apply that with their children.
Secondly
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, I believe that there are situations in parenting that don't follow any script or
course
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, and for these
situtions
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situations
,
parents
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 need to trust in their instinct rather than fully follow guides with general information that might not be ideal for their kids. A
course
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 can give you hints
but
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, but
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 any child has their own reality
and
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, and
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 sometimes different methods should be applied.
As
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For
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for example
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, sleeping routine: families and babies have different
life style
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lifestyles
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 and what could work in one case, could not be the best solution for the other.
Besides
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 trusting their own instinct, being humble and open to
learn
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learning
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 from people
that
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who
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 already have kids and have already been there before would
also
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 be a wiser choice, rather than attending a scripted
course
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. In the end, some
parents
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 might feel more confident knowing that they completed a
course
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,
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;
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 in
this
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, I
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case, I
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 would advise them to go for it. Nowadays,
parents
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also
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 have easy access to videos and books that could play an important role in preparing them to become good
parents
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. That's why I still think it should be offered as an optional
course
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 and not an obligatory practice.

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task response
Task response: Your answer is clear, and you give your opinion from the start. To get a higher score, explain your main ideas more fully and add one more strong reason.
task response
Task response: You answer all parts of the question, but some points are still a bit general. Try to show more clearly why a course should not be required for all parents.
task response
Task response: Your example about sleep is useful, but it is short. Add a more specific example to make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. This is good. To improve more, group similar ideas together in one paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You use linking words like First, Secondly, Besides, and In the end. This helps the reader. But sometimes the link between ideas is a little weak, so add clearer topic sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some sentences are a bit long or loose. Try to make each paragraph focus on one main point and support it well.
task response
Task response: You give a clear opinion and keep it through the essay.
task response
Task response: You cover the main question and give more than one reason for your view.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has both an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The order of ideas is easy to follow in most parts.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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