IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

1. In some cultures old age is more valued, while in other cultures youth is more valued. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
As a matter of
fact
Punctuation problem
fact,
show examples
 age
group
Correct subject-verb agreement
groups
show examples
 have different values in different cultures. Everyone who's young today will be
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 old man in future.
Reagardless
Correct your spelling
Regardless
 of all arguments
no
Punctuation problem
, no
show examples
 doubt
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 will
disscus
Correct your spelling
discuss
 both
prosepctive
Correct your spelling
perspectives
 in a valuable order.
Body
In most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cultures
like
Correct word choice
, as
show examples
 we can see in asian cuntries, aged people
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 most of
respect
Correct article usage
the respect
show examples
. They stay in
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 homes
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 we can see
they
Verb problem
they've
show examples
 got a hold
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their family. In every matter
younster
Punctuation problem
, younster
show examples
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 them value to discuss their solid
mattters
Correct your spelling
matters
 and in return find a better way
resolution of
Replace the word
to resolve
 their problems. In
this
Linking Words
situation
Add a comma
situation,
show examples
 they got
advantage
Correct article usage
the advantage
show examples
 of less time consumption and
also
Linking Words
avoid
Wrong verb form
avoided
show examples
 a contemporary loss of goods. Because people who
are has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been
gone
Verb problem
apply
show examples
through a lot
mean
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
have had a nice piece of experience in
maximum
Correct word choice
various
show examples
 fields of life.
Conclusion
In some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cultures
Add a comma
cultures,
show examples
 we can see
youth
Correct word choice
that youth
show examples
 is more powerful.
Im
Correct your spelling
I'm
 going to take
example
Correct article usage
the example
show examples
 of
europe
Fix capitalization
Europe
show examples
 here
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 we can see most of
countries
Correct article usage
the countries
show examples
 in
europe
Fix capitalization
Europe
show examples
 have
shor
Correct your spelling
short

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task response
Write a full ending. Your essay stops in the middle, so the answer is not complete.
task response
Discuss both sides more clearly. Write one clear main idea for old age and one clear main idea for youth.
task response
Give your opinion in a direct way. Say which side you support and why.
task response
Use simple and clear examples. Your example about Asia is better than the Europe part, which is not finished.
coherence and cohesion
Make your ideas easier to follow. Start each body part with a clear topic sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully, like first, also, however, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. Some lines are hard to understand because the words are not in a clear order.
coherence and cohesion
Add a conclusion. A short last part will make the essay feel complete.
task response
You tried to discuss both views, which is the right essay plan for this task.
task response
You gave a clear idea about why old people are valued in some cultures.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing has paragraph breaks, so there is some basic structure.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like because and also.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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