IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Many people argue that unpaid
community
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 should be made a compulsory element of high school education. Activities
such
Linking Words
 as volunteering for charities, cleaning public areas, or coaching younger children are believed to benefit both
students
Use synonyms
 and society. I largely agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea because
community
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 helps teenagers develop important life skills and social responsibility,
although
Linking Words
 it should be implemented in a balanced and flexible way. One major reason why
community
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 should be compulsory is that it encourages
students
Use synonyms
 to become responsible citizens. Many teenagers are mainly focused on academic achievement and may have little awareness of the problems faced by others in society. By participating in volunteer work,
students
Use synonyms
 can better understand issues
such
Linking Words
 as poverty, loneliness among elderly people, or environmental pollution.
As a result
Linking Words
, they are more likely to develop empathy and a stronger sense of civic duty. These qualities are essential not only for personal growth but
also
Linking Words
 for creating a more caring society.
In addition
Linking Words
,
community
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 provides valuable practical skills that cannot always be learned in classrooms.
For example
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 who
organize
Change the spelling
organise
show examples
 charity events or teach sports to younger children can improve their communication, teamwork, and leadership abilities.
Such
Linking Words
 experiences may
also
Linking Words
 increase their confidence and prepare them for future employment. Employers and universities often appreciate candidates who demonstrate social involvement and initiative, meaning that volunteer work can offer long-term advantages for
students
Use synonyms
’ careers.
However
Linking Words
, making
community
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 compulsory may
also
Linking Words
 create certain challenges. Some
students
Use synonyms
 already face heavy academic pressure and extracurricular commitments, so additional mandatory work could increase stress.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if
students
Use synonyms
 are forced to volunteer without any personal interest, they may complete the tasks unwillingly and gain little meaningful experience.
Therefore
Linking Words
, schools should provide a variety of
service
Use synonyms
 options and allow
students
Use synonyms
 to choose activities that match their interests and schedules. In conclusion, I strongly believe that unpaid
community
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 should form part of high school programmes because it promotes social awareness and develops essential practical skills.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, schools should ensure that these programmes remain flexible and manageable so that
students
Use synonyms
 can participate in a positive and meaningful way.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Give one more real or clear example in the body to make your ideas stronger.
task response
You can explain the other side a little more to show a fuller answer.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words are good, but you can vary them more.
coherence and cohesion
A few ideas could be developed a bit more deeply.
task response
You answer the question clearly and give your opinion from the start.
task response
Your ideas are easy to follow and stay on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea and good order.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
    What to do next:
    Look at other essays: