IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportaion. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?

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Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that to solve traffic issues,
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
 should establish a law that
Use synonyms
tax
Correct subject-verb agreement
taxes
show examples
 private
car
Use synonyms
owners
Use synonyms
 and
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
show examples
 the money to expand public
transport
Use synonyms
 services. I personally believe that
order
Wrong verb form
ordering
show examples
 a
tax
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 private cars
foster
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 more benefits compared to the drawbacks they might bring.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are several advantages to
Use synonyms
tax
Wrong verb form
taxing
show examples
 single
car
Use synonyms
owners
Use synonyms
. One major benefit is that it
reducess
Correct your spelling
reduces
 air pollution.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, most of the gas emissions
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
show examples
 from sedan cars, which
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not only causes traffic congestion but
also
Linking Words
 affects the fresh air. Establish a heavy
tax
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 private
car
Use synonyms
owners
Use synonyms
make
Verb problem
to make
show examples
 them
to
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
take public
transport
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
most of the public transports
Verb problem
is mostly
show examples
 run by electricity.
For example
Linking Words
, trains and eco-buses rely on electricity that produces zero gas emissions and
much
Verb problem
is much
show examples
 safer for
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
.
Besides
Linking Words
, travelling in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
transport
Use synonyms
 can be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less stressful
rather
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
than driving a private
car
Use synonyms
 in
busy
Correct word choice
heavy
show examples
 traffic.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 some drawbacks of restricting private cars by
tax
Use synonyms
 and focusing
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
only
public
Change preposition
on public
show examples
transport
Use synonyms
. One main demerit is that public transportation can be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time-consuming. Public transportation
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 are usually slow and uncomfortable, buses
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
 to stop every half hours which is
time
Correct article usage
a time
show examples
 waste for most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, individuals who work in a tight schedule often
come up
Verb problem
arrive
show examples
 late to their work because of
busy
Correct article usage
the busy
show examples
 and crowded with
people
Use synonyms
 in public
transport
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, young
people
Use synonyms
 often choose to take public
transport
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 leads to
crowd
Check wording
crowds
show examples
 in public
transport
Use synonyms
 and even in metro stations. In conclusion, I strongly believe that the benefits of
establish
Wrong verb form
establishing
show examples
 a
tax
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 private
car
Use synonyms
owners
Use synonyms
outweight
Verb problem
outweigh
show examples
 the demerits as they
provide
Verb problem
apply
show examples
produce zero gas emissions for
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
 less
stressfull
Correct your spelling
stressful
instead
Linking Words
 of driving a
car
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 busy
road
Check wording
roads
show examples
.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You write about good and bad points, but some ideas are short.
task response
Give clearer examples. Your train and bus example is useful, but it needs more detail.
task response
Explain why public transport is slow in a more direct way. Some points are not fully clear.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some parts do not flow well from one idea to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph and support it with 1 or 2 clear points.
task response
You answer the question and give your opinion clearly.
task response
You include both advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has four clear paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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