Many people are travelling to other countries. Why? Is it a positive or negative development?

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Travelling abroad is a common practice these days. Social media influence and better educational opportunities have contributed to
this
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growing trend.
Although
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this
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development
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has some drawbacks, I believe it is a generally positive
development
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. There are several reasons why
people
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tend to
travel
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overseas. One reason is social media. As we are living in an interconnected world,
people
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rely heavily on the internet platforms,
as a result
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of which influences individuals' decisions and opinions. By seeing all those aesthetically beautiful pictures of native countries,
people
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automatically buy tickets to visit those areas.
This
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has been seen in Uzbekistan, where
people
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frequently see images of Switzerland or the US and become motivated to
travel
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there and see those places with their own eyes. Another equally contributing reason is greater opportunities in education. Today , youngsters strive for personal
development
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.
For instance
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, young
people
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spend their money to
travel
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abroad for education purposes and better career prospects
instead
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of staying in their hometown. Because of these factors,
people
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are more likely to go abroad whenever they have the opportunity.
Overall
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, I believe
this
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is a positive trend for both individuals and society. Travelling does more good than harm.
Firstly
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, travelling allows
people
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to broaden their horizons. Visiting nations improves
people
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's cultural understanding and encourages them to respect other values and traditions.
Secondly
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, international tourism can boost the economy , which indeed gains a reasonable amount of money for the country.
For example
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, the UAE has reported that most of the government money has been collected from international tourists who have visited Dubai.
Therefore
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, taken as a whole ,
this
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change is generally positive as it allows
people
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to learn different traditions and at the same time it enhances countries' economic condition. In conclusion,
people
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travel
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abroad more often
due to
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social media influence and relatively better educational prospects.
Additionally
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, in general, I believe
this
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development
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is largely beneficial and positive.

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task response
For task response, answer both parts in a more full way. You say why people travel and you give your view, but the bad side is not explained enough.
task response
For task response, add one clear bad point before you say why it is still good. This will make your position stronger.
task response
For task response, some ideas are good but a few are too general. Explain how social media really changes travel plans in a direct way.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow because it has clear paragraphs. This is good.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some links are not used well, like 'as a result of which influences'. Use shorter and cleaner link words.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some sentences are long and a bit hard to follow. Break them into two shorter sentences.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your examples help, but support can be deeper. After each main point, add one more line to explain the result.
task response
You answer the full question and give a clear opinion that it is mostly positive.
task response
You give real examples like Uzbekistan, Switzerland, the US, and the UAE. This helps your ideas feel real.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. The reader can follow your plan easily.
coherence and cohesion
Topic sentences are clear, especially when you introduce reasons and then your opinion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • affordability
  • accessibility
  • cultural exchange
  • global connectivity
  • economic contributor
  • environmental impact
  • cultural erosion
  • infrastructure
  • overtourism
  • global perspective
  • socio-economic implications
  • career opportunities
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