These days it is neither possible or not desirable for most people to stay in the same job throughout their working life . To what extend do you agree this agree with the statement.

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Hindi modern world, the way
of
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apply
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people
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working life it changing. Many
people
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think that
stay
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staying
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in only one
job
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for their whole life is not possible. I completely agree with the statement because changing
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job
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jobs
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can help
people
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to earn more. First of all , staying in December is difficult because the world is changing
fastly
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quickly
. Technology replacement
jobs
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.
For example
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Many factory workers lose their
jobs
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because machines can do their work faster.
Linking Words
Therefore
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Therefore,
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people
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have to find
new
Correct article usage
a new
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job
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to survive and support
there
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their
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family.
Secondly
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, staying in one
job
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for a long time is boring . If a person
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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the same work for 30 years , they will not learn anything new.
However
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, when
people
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there
jobs
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, they can get better experience and
higher
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a higher
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salary. Conclusion , I agree that
people
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should not stay in the same
job
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forever. Changing
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job
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jobs
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is necessary because old
jobs
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are disappearing, and it is
also
Linking Words
good for a
person
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person's
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career and happiness .

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task response
Answer all parts of the question more clearly. You say you agree, but you can explain more why it is not possible and why it may also be good.
task response
Use clearer main ideas in each body part. One body part can be about why people must change jobs, and one can be about why people want to change jobs.
task response
Add one more clear example with simple detail. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to believe.
coherence and cohesion
Put your ideas in a smoother order. Some lines are hard to follow because the words are not in the right place.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple and correct way, like first, also, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence connects well to the next one. This will help the reader move through your essay more easily.
task response
You have a clear opinion from the start: you agree with the statement.
coherence and cohesion
You write an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion. This gives your essay a clear shape.
task response
You give a real example about factory workers and machines. This helps support your idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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