Both governments and individuals are spending vast amount of money on protecting animals and their habitat. This money could be better spent dealing with fundamental issues in society such as poverty and health care. To what extent do you agree?

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In recent years, substantial financial support has been devoted to protecting wildlife and natural habitats by both governments and private citizens.
While
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some argue that these funds should
instead
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be directed towards pressing social concerns
such
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as
poverty
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and
healthcare
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, I largely agree that addressing these fundamental issues should take priority. The primary reason for
this
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is that
poverty
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and inadequate
healthcare
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pose immediate threats to human survival and well-being. Millions of people around the world continue to suffer from hunger, homelessness, and preventable diseases. By allocating more resources to
poverty
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reduction programs, governments can provide essential support
such
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as food assistance, affordable housing, education, and employment opportunities.
Likewise
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, increased investment in
healthcare
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can improve hospitals, train medical professionals, and ensure access to life-saving medicines.
For example
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, a child suffering from a treatable illness may die within days if proper medical care is unavailable.
Therefore
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, when resources are limited, it is more sensible to
prioritize
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prioritise
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issues that have a direct and urgent impact on people's lives. Another important consideration is that tackling
poverty
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and
healthcare
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problems can generate broader social and economic benefits. Healthier and financially secure citizens are more productive, better educated, and less dependent on government assistance in the long term.
As a result
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, societies can experience lower crime rates, stronger economic growth, and improved
overall
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stability.
By contrast
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,
although
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wildlife conservation remains important, its benefits are often less immediate and may not directly address the basic needs of vulnerable populations. In many cases, environmental protection can still be supported through targeted international cooperation and more efficient use of existing funds. In conclusion, I largely agree that greater priority should be given to
poverty
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alleviation and
healthcare
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.
While
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protecting animals and their habitats is undoubtedly valuable, addressing urgent human needs is a more pressing responsibility and should take precedence when financial resources are limited.

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear and you give your opinion all through the essay. To get a higher score, add one short idea for the other side, such as why animal protection still matters for people.
task response
For task response, your main ideas are strong, but one example is a bit general. Add one more real or clear example to make your point stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow, with a clear start, body, and end. To improve more, use a few linking words with more care so the flow feels even more natural.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph has one clear main idea. You can make it even better by linking the second body paragraph more clearly to the first one.
task response
For task response, you answer the question well and keep your position clear from start to end.
task response
For task response, your ideas are relevant and focused on the topic of money, poverty, health care, and animal protection.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a strong conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your points are in a logical order, so the reader can follow your thinking easily.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental issues = basic problems in society
  • poverty = the state of being very poor
  • health care = medical help and treatment
  • habitat = the natural home of animals
  • wildlife protection = keeping animals safe
  • public funds = money from the government
  • quality of life = how good people’s daily life is
  • in the short term = over a short time
  • in the long term = over many years
  • strike a balance = find a fair middle point
  • human well-being = people’s health and happiness
  • environmental damage = harm to nature
  • natural resources = useful things from nature, like water and forests
  • ecosystem = a natural system of plants and animals
  • future generations = people in the future
  • costly consequences = expensive bad results
  • urgent needs = very important needs now
  • social welfare = help for people in need
  • public health = the health of the whole society
  • protect endangered species = keep rare animals safe
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